He has lived away from my home since he was 14 (hugely against my wishes) with my very dysfunctional mother. I have been nc with her for over three years, whilst trying to maintain some semblance of a relationship with dc1(I have younger dcs who do not see her)
My mother has developed a disability in these years, some kind of rheumatic arthritis which affects her mobility. She doesn't believe in medicine so won't take anything for it except strong painkillers.
Without wanting to offend, she is also bat-shit crazy. She has extremely bizarre and dangerous opinions on most subjects, including food, medicines, authority figures, the general public, strangers - actually people in general, going outside, spending money on food/clothing/household items. She lives in a permanent fury, and spends most of her days inside smoking roll-ups or marijuana in the form of skunk.
She also houses my brother, who at 34 is a functional alcoholic/recreational drug abuser. Drugs are used openly in front of my son. He is currently sharing a bedroom with my brother who is partly living with his new girlfriend (he is a serial womaniser)
She has a housing association flat, but had left my son and brother there and had moved into her sisters (across the city) to convalesce during a bout of severely bad health.
They partied/abused drugs and alcohol during this time. The flat is permanently in a squalid condition, with filth/clothing/power tools (brothers work tools) on the front room floor. It smells strongly of cat urine, and every surface is dirty.
Her housing assoc became suspicious and she has moved back into the flat in the last couple of weeks, thus curtailing the open house policy, except for weekends, when she had stayed with her sister and business has resumed as usual.
On Tuesday morning at 4.30am the police called to ask if I could come to the hospital and look after ds. He'd been found rambling and incoherent with a facial injury.
When I arrived, the police told me he'd been assaulted but wasn't able to tell them who or how it had happened. His shoe was missing and he'd been cut form the corner of his mouth two inches into his cheek. He was also suffering a drug induced/sleep deprived psychotic episode. He was utterly convinced he'd happened upon a federal court session in the middle of a thornbush he'd jumped into, to escape the '600 people chasing him'
I stayed with him while he was treated for his facial wound, and my partner and I took him home. He didn't want to stay, and against my wishes went back to the flat, which is indescribably filthy.
He's slept and sobered up, and is aware he 'overdid things' but is minimising things. My mother is not helping the situation, raging at him using paracetamol, not wanting the police to follow up on the assault, and not in a position to provide basic care - clean bedding/food/medicine or any kind of wider guidance.
I've been going round several times a day. My relationship with ds is stronger than it's been in a long time, and I have said I will help him to leave the flat and live somewhere else - perhaps supported accommodation. I've started the ball rolling with the councils young persons advisor who is coming to visit him at home with a social worker.
My son wants to leave the flat and live independently but doesn't believe it could happen as that would be 'too good to be true'
As long as my brother has access to him, it's impossible to give him anything that isn't taken from him and used/borrowed/wrecked and my mother has him moving heavy furniture and tidying up the mess that has been made by my brother and him - his wound is still bleeding a little.
I'm kinda just spouting now. I think I'm in shock.