How do I know if my DD is depressed?

[porkypoo]

My 13yr old DD's best friend has moved to America over Christmas. Obviously she is upset. But its now been a month and she doesn't seem to be pulling through it. She cries almost every day still. has trouble sleeping and seems to have no other friends at school. she keeps in contact with her friend via skype and messages, but I actually think this is making the situation worse in a way. Im so worried.....

bump

I think that it's only been a month and while she does sound like she's taking it badly it's still early days.
I'm sure if she had other friends it would have lessened the impact of her friend leaving and she will need time to find her feet again socially.

I'm worried about my DS 13 who confided in me that he feels like he's not functioning. A combination of not quite fitting in to any social group at school and the fact that soon after he started high school his Dad left for another woman and is living abroad.
Like you I don't know how much the low mood is to do with life events which just take time to get over or is actually a mood disorder.

How is your DD functioning at school? If she is OK there I'd say that she will most likely get over this in time, I guess to her it seems like a bereavement. I would contact the school as a first port of call.

Distract.

Get her out of the house and doing something else - long walks, trips to museums/galleries, cinema etc - whatever you can fill her brain with so that the constant thoughts of 'the friend' loose their immediacy. Wean her off the skyping - involve the other parent in this - as it wont be helping either of them adjust to the new reality.

Its like the loss of a first love - its agony, because they have never had this feeling before and have no idea of how to deal with it and still function. See it as 'grief' rather than depression. Distract and insist that 'real life' goes on regardless.

does she feel worthless?
does she have any enjoyment at all.

crying every day doesnt sound good.

Like Mrs Bright says - distract her. I was similar at that age, but had busy parents who didnt notice (or chose not to). You are a lovely mum to be concerned and to care. Get her involved in activities and groups, get her out of the house and try to get her to meet and make new friends. Its still early days for her, but she needs to break the cycle of being on skype, get her to limit her time on it and say she can only go on it once a week or so.
Whether it is depression is hard to say, if she continues to cry a lot and has trouble sleeping then it may progress to depression. See if the school has a pastoral care or counselling service so she has someone to talk to.
Good Luck x