Don't know what to do...

[Princess21]

My daughter (19 years old) is at University (Started last September and a long way from home) and has started suffering from terrible depression. University have been good and she sees a counsellor but due to her age, I don't feel that I can advise her. I am at my wits end as I am worried that this may all become more serious. What do I do? Just listen? All I want to do is be with her.... Has anyone been in this position with an 'adult?' (i.e. 19 year old)

Princess, sorry to hear this. My daughter developed depression a year ago when she was 19 nearly 20. It was her second year away from home and she was in Guildford, I am in Edinburgh. It was really hard I just couldn't be there but we did a lot of skyping which helped. There was a trigger in that her dad had died 10 months earlier. She had some counselling but did end up on anti depressants because she ended up in hospital with palpitations and chest pains. Within 2 weeks she was a new person and has done really well.
My son has just gone away this year and he is the worlds worst pessimist and gets very angry and worried about things. Again, his dad's death will have affected him. Universities are used to students and how they are coping. I just found keeping the lines of communication open was the best thing and letting them offload.
You say 'due to her age' you can't advise her. I hear a lot of people on here saying "they're an adult, they need to learn to cope" but honestly if it were a physical illness you'd probably not think this way. She is still your little girl, just as at 32 and suffering from post natal depression I was my parents little girl. Keep chatting and listening to her. Could she come home for a long weekend or could you go down or book her a massage or something luxurious like that.
It is really tough when they leave home but they don't have to learn to stand on their feet all by themselves. Just be there for her as you obviously are. Hope she feels better soon.

We are in exactly the same situation as you (Daughter in England and we are in Scotland) Sorry to hear about your husband, mine has cancer which I thought to be the cause of my daughter's depression, but apparently it is something that happened years ago.
My daughter is having counselling through the Uni but the counsellor has steered my daughter towards a support group where the 'problem' is aired between a group of up to half a dozen. I am so very concerned about this and feel cross that this is 'thought' to be the route of my daughter's depression. I don't feel it is as she has suffered from anxiety since being a toddler.
I do listen and try to support her but if I ask anything or query anything (In a gentle way) I get snapped at...

Feeling so hopeless really!

I have encouraged herbal anti-depressants from Boots (Kalms) but I'm thinking now that she should go to the GP (Although I am very wary about anti-depressants) She doesn't want me to go down to her and she has only been back at Uni for two weeks....

'Support' should be the key word, rather than 'advise'. You say you are concerned about the suggested cause of the depression and about her airing it in group discussion. This suggests that you are too close to the problem to be able to advise objectively and perhaps this is why your daughter is snapping at you.

She needs to be able to make her own decisions about medication, for short term acute depression anti-depressants can be a fantastic help.

This isnt uncommon.
Many, many students have a mental health wobble at Uni.

All Unis are geared up to help. She needs to take everything that is on offer from the Uni, and confide in her personal tutor.

She MUST see a local GP. Anti-depressants DO Help, so does 'talking therapy' - especially with grief issues. All GPs are sympathetic with mental health issues - especially any that deal with students. Insist she makes an appointment asap. And yes, just keep talking to her. Phone her every evening and check how the day was.

Thank you.... I think I will insist that she sees her GP (Dad has cancer so this could also be a cause) She has been good and talked to her personal tutor and has student counselling sessions weekly. But it's just not lifting or even a little bit. This morning, she is not going to her lectures as she feels that she needs time to herself. I'm in constant touch but 600 miles away...