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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Telling lies and losing coats

7 replies

coatless · 22/01/2014 10:03

DD is 13. Last year she lost her good riding jacket/winter coat – left it at school after getting soaked walking because she missed the school bus because she wouldn't get up early enough. Getting the picture?

She seems to have cured the not getting up problem and now gets herself a good breakfast. That's good.

We made her pay for the lost coat, partly because she had lost it through pure scattiness, but also because she lied about losing it. Kept saying she hadn't.

We then bought her a cheaper but still good winter jacket in November last year. She lost that about a week ago but is lying again. Keeps saying it is in her room (which is a tip just by the way). It isn't. I've removed her iPad for this evening at least and left instructions about her cleaning her room. She will also have to pay for this lost coat.

Now the problem: if it were just a case of coat-losing by now, after making her pay for the lost items, I'd be shrugging and thinking "OK, I've got a scatty daughter; I guess she'll learn to be more careful with her belongings when she has got cold and wet enough. Or not, as the case may be. I can live with that." It's the stupid STUPID lie-telling that troubles me.

Have two grown-up daughters. I don't remember this kind of problem with them which is partly why I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with it.

OP posts:
craggyhollow · 22/01/2014 10:11

I'd buy a new coat but point out something else that I now can't afford for her

If she's at a big comp I think quite hard to keep track of stuff?

craggyhollow · 22/01/2014 10:14

The lying doesn't sound that surprising tbh, you sound very cross!

gamerchick · 22/01/2014 10:14

thats a good tactic ^^ I started using that when I read it on here and it works quite well.

I gave up on coats and just got thick trendy body warmers with a hood for my son. it was a decent compromise but it's hard to get boys to wear a coat full stop.

coatless · 22/01/2014 10:36

I am pretty cross (upset) about the pointless lying. She's intelligent enough to know it's pointless, so why?

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Travelledtheworld · 22/01/2014 13:21

I get this too. The lying is just an attempt to save face. But when DD15 gives me a very quick answer to " where is your coat/ trainers? " etc I just KNOW it is a lie.

I wouldn't bother to buy her another coat TBH.
It will get worse as she gets more fussy about designer labels and it is not cool for teenagers to wear coats anyway.

Just buy her a waterproof she can roll up and keep in her school bag and wear over her school stuff on a wet day

And as a rider myself I know that any horse related clothing gets filthy and smelly. So if she is riding outdoors on a regular basis try local charity shops for something warm / waterproof and then it will be less of an issue if it gets lost. Or look on ebay for used gear.

craggyhollow · 22/01/2014 15:13

Good advice. I buy all dds riding clothes from eBay

coatless · 22/01/2014 16:45

Yes, it is good advice and I'll follow it. Thank you. Seems my displeasure this morning had some effect and made her actually look for the jacket at school. She came home wearing it. Hmm

In theory she's tidying up all the gunk that's under her bed at the moment. Then she can have the iPad back.

Thanks again for the responses.

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