Nearly 17 DD definitely has had sex... What should I do ?

[Mumontheedge1]

Ok so my DD has recently been dating a boy... He is very nice (17) I think he has been a bit of a lad so probably has been sexually active before.. They have only been going out a few weeks but I am pretty confident that they have had sex... It's taken me a few days to adjust and calm down and to realise that all in all I'm ok with this... It's normal... I guess I have some concerns though re sexually transmitted disease, whether to tell my other half my concerns and how to react when said BF comes to stay.. Also I think it best to wait for my DD to tell me but should I tell he my concerns?
We have talked about safe sex but now it's a reality I need to know she is being sensible... Help

I'd have another chat with her just to reiterate the safe sex chat 'as you can see she's getting close to xxx' - does she know where to get free condoms for example?

Re BF staying over, I'd discuss with your DP and agree between you what your stance will be - can he sleep in with her or does he have to stay in the spare room and sneak across the landing later ?

Well done for calming yourself down, my DD is almost 4 and is never going to have a boyfriend

Sorry meant to edit xxx to BF - realised it sounded like I'd bleeped out a rude word!

Thank you for that agree with your plan that I just approach it like it hasn't happened but as it might possibly then talk about safe sex... Enjoy your DD

Good luck OP, the teenage years slightly terrify me

I know it's a shock to find out our kids are sexually active but be glad she's nearly 17 and not 14 or even younger.

I have 13 year old DDs and I'd be very happy if they wait until that age.

Yes agree that it's not a terrible age ...and I'm determined not to be like my parents who were terrible when this was me... So lessons to learn.. Just working out the way forward so she knows I'm there if all goes wrong.... Fingers crossed she will stay in this relationship long enough to not regret any hasty decisions.. And now it's about safe xxx !!! And deal with my OH who is old fashioned in his views and it's his DD!!

My mum was a star.When she guessed that BF < now DH > and I were having sex,she gave me a good talking to about respecting myself and not being pressured as I was only 16.She then took me to our GP who gave me the same talk,then prescribed the contraceptive pill.This was in 1969 and safe sex wan't an issue bar pregnancy.I see now that DH got off lightly but we made sure that when our DD became sexually active her partner was included in ' the talk '.Happily DH and I are still together some 45 years on.

I think you need to buy her some condoms and maybe also think about her going on the pill incase of condom failure with a good explanation that the pill doesn't mean you can stop using condoms. Or even better, the depo injection - no pill to forget.