teen after domestic abuse :( help me!

[samanthamorrisey]

hi, my teenage daughter is really depressed and i dont know where to turn. she has had the worst start to life possible and its all taking its toll now! we spent the last 9 years of her life in total fear of my abusive ex, who we fled from to a refuge a year ago, spent 6 months there moved county's twice. she has been so unhappy for very obvious reasons and i just dont know what to do to help her, ive been to a gp to ask for counselling and medication but was turned away as "shes old enough to say weather she wants it or not" shes 14. she is constantly alone in and out of school and doesnt speak or trust anyone other than myself and her aunt. she has no friends and no intrest in anything at all, when shes with me she talks and smiles sometimes but if anyone else is in the area, even outside she wont talk and feels very paniky. ive asked school to help and they have sent her to a councillor once a week, but im scared she is going to hurt herself again or worse, she spends a lot of time crying and never gets moody or angry just sad and down. where can i go for help before its too late. i know all of this is my fault for not getting out of the violent relationship sooner and just really need to help her. please help

Firstly, I do (really) understand your fear, and you have my sympathy, but I think you have two issues here. Firstly, she is is an unfamiliar environment feeling very lonely AND she has depression. Something has got to give. If you can at least get yourselves to an English speaking country or even back to the UK somewhere, then get her to a GP and/or a youth orientated mental health service. !4 year olds do not know what is best for them. I know this, so do you. Sart fighting for what your daghter needs. Don't stop until you get it.

counties not countries.

Oh samantham, I'm so sorry. And I'm glad you've got yourself out of that abusive relationship now at least.

There isn't enough support for children and young people affected by domestic violence, so you may have to search and push hard to get face-to-face support for your daughter. However, there are some websites and phone lines that might help.

You can find some info and advice on the Women's Aid website or you can phone them on 0808 200 0247.

Also, Women's Aid now have a special website for young people themselves, which your daughter can look at, called The Hideout.

She could also call Childline - 0800 1111.

Barnardos have a project called Defuze that supports young people who've been affected by domestic violence. You or your daughter can call 024 7622 1112 or email: [email protected]. There's more info here and on the rest of the Safe to Talk website.

If there is a women's centre in your local area, they may be able to help too.

You and your daughter are not alone. Children who have experienced domestic violence can be badly affected. You are doing the right thing trying to get some support for her now. Good luck.