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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

paying keep

31 replies

stickydate65 · 07/01/2014 14:19

Any thoughts on what is a reasonable amount to charge a young person for their 'keep'. DS has just started proper work. We want to charge him something so he realises he has some financial responsibilities but don't want to go OTT. Plan is to save this for his future for a deposit for rent/mortgage when the time comes, although he doesn't know this! What do other people charge as a % of their DC's earnings?

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 07/01/2014 14:21

Friends of mine charge around a 1/4 to a 1/3 of net salary, depending on how much it is in the first place

What amounts were you thinking ?

Original poster

stickydate65 · 07/01/2014 14:25

I was thinking about 20%, he has a car to run to get to work (astronomical insurance of course!) but no other big outlays.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 07/01/2014 14:27

Sounds fair. (I would keep the money though, not give it back)

Floralnomad · 07/01/2014 14:33

If your plan is to save it for him why not just say to him that in lieu of 'keep' you expect him to save x amount each month and trust him to do so ,surely that's a better lesson ? I don't charge mine anything and unless a financial disaster befalls our family I don't intend to but my eldest ,who does earn well pt at the moment ,is an extremely effective saver off his own back .

Original poster

stickydate65 · 07/01/2014 14:45

Floralnomad he does save regularly already, I wanted to keep the option of being able to spend some of it if we got desperate, interest rates rise etc! we're not so well off that I might not need to use it. :D I just thought if we could manage to save it, it would help in the future! I'm sure I will want to reclaim the bathroom/tv one day!

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 07/01/2014 15:02

Sounds entirely reasonable .

AndWhenYouGetThere · 07/01/2014 15:50

I paid keep to my parents (£50 a week, on an income of about £150) and they've recently helped me out with a deposit on my first place. Much better, in my opinion, than paying for the uni drinks fund, which friends parents did. Go for it if you can.

specialsubject · 07/01/2014 18:10

also make sure he is aware of what your bills are and what measures you take to keep them down.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 07/01/2014 21:11

It is a fine line to tread. If you charge him board then IMO he should get a say in meal plans etc.

I remember the resentment that I felt when my DM took board off me but still only provided food according to DF's tastes and timetable (heavy gristly stews at lunchtime).

AnyFucker · 07/01/2014 22:20

I don't get this "fine line" tbh

There is no way on God's earth these young people would get such a cushty billet if they were out there in the Real World.

Although I do cater for everyone's taste, always have

redcrop · 07/01/2014 22:43

Hi I charge £185 a month and he takes home £1060 with fares already paid. I hate taking it off him but I need it. He does not get a say in food but then he wastes so much of it by not coming home etc when we have plated him a meal up that it is justified!

He does not seem to mind and it will prepare him for when he does leave home.

If we could afford it though I would save it for him as I would love to be able to give him something towards a deposit but you never know one day lol xxx

ivykaty44 · 07/01/2014 22:47

I charged 15% as it wasn't to much but represented a contribution to household bills

kaatieexox · 07/01/2014 23:03

Hi OP I think that's a lovely thing to do, what a nice surprise that will be when he goes for his own place. I wish my dad would of done that for me!

I used to pay £30 per week once i started work, and it never went up it always stayed the same. I didn't have any other things to pay out (apart from phone bill) so I could save the majority of my wages, and also had weekend fund

flow4 · 08/01/2014 00:27

I've just agreed £20/week out of a p-t wage of £65/wk. If he does overtime, he keeps the extra.

NatashaBee · 08/01/2014 00:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Solo · 08/01/2014 01:23

1/3 keep, 1/3 to save, 1/3 to spend.

When I started earning, I gave my parents 1/3, repaid a loan from my boss for my first motorbike and used the rest to get by on and believe me, it was about £15 after that was all paid out.

After just a couple of years, I was then saving up for a deposit on my first house, and apart from putting petrol in the bike, and paying my keep, I had nothing left to 'spend' but it taught me one hell of a good life lesson.

nobody gets anything for nothing and youngsters have to learn this. My 15yo Ds already knows what will be expected of him when he starts earning anything at all and he says he expects to pay his way and help out with the cost of living. Right an all!!

Solo · 08/01/2014 01:32

Redcrop why is your Ds paying you £42pw and spending almost £202pw on himself? more so if as you say you need the money. £42pw hardly touches the gas/electric/water and food, plus council tax if he's old enough that he is no doubt consuming. That's not preparing him for anything imho. And the fact that he is wasting that food more often than not...!
Sorry, it won't be happening under my roof!

WorrySighWorrySigh · 08/01/2014 13:14

AF I think it is a fine line. If a hefty board charge is levied then parents do have to start giving choices and freedoms which they might not want to give. IMO it is worthwhile setting down in writing some household rules.

The more you charge the more freedoms & choices you have to give.

Charge too little and it is meaningless.

redcrop if your DS doesnt get a choice in the food then might that be a reason why he doesnt bother coming home for it? My DM only paid attention to my DF's and her own likes and dislikes. I have never told my DM she is a lousy cook I just dont let her cook for me!

AnyFucker · 08/01/2014 13:54

Ah, you mean how much to charge is a fine line ? Sorry, I misunderstood you. I thought you meant to charge/not charge/give it back (which to me is pointless)

holidaysarenice · 08/01/2014 14:52

I've seen this thread on here a few times and partly it is skewed by the age of children on here. Lots of ppl with younger children see it very differently to parents of teens/adults.

The fine line is that you charge too much it becomes more likely he will live in a houseshare with mates. The money u were saving for him now becomes a ll's money.

AnyFucker · 08/01/2014 15:04

I would prefer my earning grown up child to live in a houseshare with mates, tbqh

Mabelface · 08/01/2014 16:00

What Anyfucker said. If any of my working adult children live at home, then I expect an adult contribution to bills and housework. When they do move out, food and energy bills drop accordingly.

eatyourveg · 08/01/2014 17:27

we charged ds the amount that would have been his child benefit and tax credit while he was on JSA and 1/5 of the utilities bills (5 in the family) when he was working.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 08/01/2014 18:14

I would prefer my earning grown up child to live in a houseshare with mates, tbqh

This is also my preference. In fact my DM's attitude to charging board/not giving choice did ensure that when I left uni I was absolutely determined not to return to live with parents.

Something I have seen with adult children living back with parents has been a kind of inertia. Adult child gets used to creature comforts and is less prepared to rough it. Parents get used to the extra income and also the company.

ILoveOnionRings · 08/01/2014 18:22

I charge 15% and save it (which he does not know).

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