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Teenagers

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Original poster

Miserable shopping trip

81 replies

Sparklingbrook · 06/01/2014 17:48

Sad 14 year old DS. The trip was essential for school shirts and trousers because he has grown a stupid amount lately. Then on for some smart clothes for work experience.

So the shopping trip was all about him!

I have never witnessed so much eye rolling, tutting and moaning in my life. Asking 'when can we go home?' every 5 minutes,

Apparently I WBU to make him go in the changing rooms to try stuff on too.

Never ever again. Angry Wine

OP posts:
chocoluvva · 07/01/2014 14:22

You could be describing my 14 YO DS too Sparklingbrook

Does your DS manage to reply to a yes/no question in such a way that you can't tell whether he answered yes or no?

We now use online shopping and a matter-of-fact it's grim but it has to be done - let's see how quickly we can get you shoes approach.

Before next session I think I'll just give him money and send him off on his own (nervous face).

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 07/01/2014 15:10

Oh yes choco the vagueness is astonishing. Angry

He doesn't even listen to the question and says 'not sure' to most things. So frustrating.

OP posts:
muttonjeffmum · 08/01/2014 23:12

We do a "supermarket sweep" with 15 year old DS. Fortunately he isn't into designer style and is happy to go to Primark. He is a skateboarder and exceptionally heavy on his clothes. Jeans only last a couple of months. I now leave it to him to tell me when he is ready to go. We march into Primark like it's a military operation - straight to the menswear. He rummages to find jeans that he likes whilst I have a quick look at their t-shirts for him. He tries 2 or 3 pairs on, says yeah or nay to the t-shirts and then we pay. In and out in about 15 mins - then of course, he lets me buy him lunch. It is only successful if we can leave his 12 year old sister at home. Trainer shopping is a bit more fraught but I've now worked out how to do it without stressing anyone out. He goes and finds them - I then meet him and pay for them. Easy Peasy!

chocoluvva · 09/01/2014 08:34

We march into Primark like it's a military operation - straight to the menswear Grin that's us too.

Very annoyingly I don't trust DH to go with him, after one session where they didn't "see anything" and the time they bought expensive designer lightweight plimsolls shoes for the winter term 1.5 mile walk to school.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2014 10:52

Oh yes. DH wouldn't be allowed. it would be a disaster.

OP posts:
ShesYourDaughter · 09/01/2014 14:02

Yeah it's the Kevin phase, everything's So unfair!! ;-)

Just get him to shop online, let you know when he's finished and then you can go through his basket together to make sure he has enough of everything, maybe order a different size or colour as well.

Next are really good for both free delivery to store and returning things. My son was a growth nightmare and Next saved our lives, especially the extra long trousers.

Cerisier · 09/01/2014 15:26

DD15 and I have a system where she goes into town and tries things on with a friend. Then I am allowed to go next day with her to pay for the items. Recently I have just sent her with cash and have told her and friend what to get. They took the responsibility seriously and did a good job. It saved me having to go at all, which was nice.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2014 17:53

YY it's unfair Shes. To me! Grin

Cerisier that is brilliant, she sounds great. I am wondering if that would work with DS, but I don't think he would apply himself. Sad

OP posts:
MissScatterbrain · 09/01/2014 18:05

I don't think it would work for my DS either - he once went to town with friends and bought a t-shirt that was too small. Guess who had to take it back to change it Hmm

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2014 18:09

I think DS would go into town with the thought of getting the stuff but end up having a Subway and gawping in GAME for two hours, before coming home.

OP posts:
bigTillyMint · 09/01/2014 18:15

My two just go clothes shopping with their mates and come back with what they want. Saves on a lot of wasted time and money from my PoV - they tend to be careful with what they spend when it is their pocket/Christmas etc moneyWink

lalsy · 09/01/2014 18:20

OP, there is hope, I used to have terrible shopping trips with dd, often involving storming out/tears. She now often goes with friends or on her own (she is 17), but on Monday we went together, and she reached out, took my hand, and said I do like clothes shopping with you Mum. I resisted the temptation to offer her anything in H and M Smile.

My 14yo ds can only abide shopping trips of under five mins. I avoid at all costs.

IDismyname · 09/01/2014 18:29

My DS (15) is a PITA to get to go shopping, but we have settled on the following:

  1. TK Maxx to get everything. If its not in TK Maxx, then it doesn't get purchased. End of.
  1. Lunch after where he chooses. It was Yo Sushi last time. Lucky they had a deal on as DS munched his way through 11 plates. Shock
  1. Home.
lastone · 09/01/2014 18:40

This is all so familiar. My eldest was a nightmare, in fact we keep a photo of her on the fridge, at her worst, about 16 and on a day out, looking super sullen and horrid. But, like TalcAndTurnips says, they do come out of it. At christmas, now 25, she turned and said to me 'do you know, everything you ever said to me turned out to be right'. And I didnt even say I told you so, just smiled sweetly and thought 'finally'.... only took 9 years!

chocoluvva · 09/01/2014 20:30

9 years Shock and [despair]

My 17YO has just offended me by claiming that she's much more educated than me, more logical and knows more important things. Thanks a bunch DD Angry and Shock

IDismyname · 09/01/2014 20:42

I remember seeing a mug with the words...

TEENAGERS!
Tired of being harassed by your parents?

ACT NOW!!

Move out. Get a job.
Pay your bills while you still know everything.

Not entirely applicable to most of our DC's - (or DTs??), but it makes me smile...

Graceparkhill · 09/01/2014 20:53

This is my favourite thread ever. DS aged 14 has not been near a shop for two years. I buy uniform at the school suppliers and they kindly exchange it for me if it doesn't fit.

I buy shoes online and if I find any casual clothes he will actually wear I will by the next size up as well.

He has no interest in clothes or shopping and until recently was wearing school shoes 2 sizes too small without a word of complaint.

When I think of all the expensive and carefully fitted shoes he wore when younger I wonder why I bothered!

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2014 18:47

Two years? Grin Blimey.

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 10/01/2014 18:55

Funny/sad thread

Have you lot read Zagazoo by Quentin Blake?

It's soooooo spot on!

MrsDavidBowie · 11/01/2014 10:41

Ds 14 is great to go shopping with. We too have to go for a work experience rig out, so are planning to go late night shopping next week. Mind you, he knows we'll have a coffee/something to eat so that helps.

Dd 17 is awful. I have had many hissing moments in changing rooms with her, and gone home without her. I now order online for her.

Snog · 11/01/2014 10:58

"Never Again" is an extremely sensible conclusion that you should stick to!

I could have written this about my dd (14) a while back. It's the trying on that is the worst bit although even the looking seems to be a trial. She is fine when we aren't shopping for clothes for her though!

My solution is as others have suggested try mail order and if not give her the money and get her to buy the stuff on her own. This means she either can't be arsed to get anything (her look out), or buys and wears some stuff that is quite unflattering imo but I just have to shut up and hope she gets better at choosing stuff that suits her rather than just stuff she likes! It's a learning curve for all of us after all. I would prefer it myself if lovely clothes that fit me just appeared in my wardrobe whenever I wanted them without needing to go shopping for them!

hamptoncourt · 11/01/2014 14:50

Does anyone else suffer the "walking 20 paces in front of you" phenomenon?
It drives me bonkers. I look ubernormal. I don't walk around the shopping centre singing or dancing, well not when I am with DC anyway.

Why can't DD 16 just walk with me? Our shopping trips always end in tears and/or sulks but if I just give her money she buys shit she never wears again or that is so short her arse is hanging out so I feel resentful.

I guess maybe when they are older it is actually their money they are spending so maybe that is part of the reason it is less stressful? I am just so desperate for DD to grow the fuck out of it. Been three years already. Three years of being told daily how crap I am :(

dontcallmemam · 11/01/2014 14:55

I have so been there.
DS2 (17) works in a supermarket after school. I saw him in there last night but studiously ignored him in case I embarrassed him by breathing or looking at eggs inappropriately
He actually came up to me and said "Hello Mum''.
I could've cried with gratitude...I'm seeing a light at the end of that very dark tunnel.

Original poster
Sparklingbrook · 11/01/2014 15:15

DS1 has gone into (the same) town today. With his mates. Angry they are going to have lunch, and look round the shops.

That's what we were supposed to be doing last Monday. Sad Angry

OP posts:
MrsDavidBowie · 11/01/2014 16:24

Ds is doing work experience in a few weeks in John Lewis. I plan to pop in [ grin]

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