teenager xbox addiction/depression

[azio9]

Please can someone tell me how I can motivate my 14 year old son to get out of his bed and get some fresh air I am worried he is becoming depressed.

I have read all the articles about keeping him occupied and doing things but how do I do that when I can't talk to him ?. He ignores me and has his x box earphones glued to his head, he slams the door on me, I have not had a single word from him in over 7 months, his grades are slipping at school he sleeps all day and is awake all night, yes I have taken the x box away, turned off the internet and had my house ransacked and a punch in the belly for that.

He is not a bad boy he is in a place where I can't reach him. I am not going to the doctors for medication, or the school who will judge him and "earmark" him as a problem child, which he is not, he is a bright young man. I need to know how to get him out into the daylight. This has gone on for far to long. I have tried all sorts of bribes,money,cinema,new x box game (I know!) even a holiday which I cannot afford, he is not interested in anything. Please can someone tell me how you make a teenager do something that you know is good for them but they won't listen to you.

That's difficult. But as I read your story I notice that you try to make him do stuff. If you force someone to do something against their will they'll get annoyed, angry etc. No excuse for hitting you. But these things can happen when you try to force someone in doing what you'd like him to do.

He's old enough to make his own decisions. I'd take my hands of him. You might want to ask him what he wants in life. Maybe he loves his computer stuff so much that he wants to do something with computers and or games. There are enough jobs there and he'll make good money.

Try to work on your relationship with him. Try to understand why he plays these games. Look for when there's one of those game conventions. Let him have or go to a lan party so he meets new people with the same interests as he has.

Try not to fight, but to be on his side. That way you're in the perfect position to positively influence him. Computers aren't that bad to be behind all the time. Having stress and arguments is a bad thing. If this is his thing, be happy and see if you can get him interested in getting a job in the computer business. There're enough jobs out there in that industry and as far as I know most of them pay good money.

Bumping for more views on this (I have a similar problem with my DS, who is obsessed with Minecraft).

I wouldn't mind him spending most of his time on the computer if he was actually programming or learning about how computers work, which I can imagine could ultimately help him get a job. But in his case it's just a sodding game which he refuses to stop playing, unless I turn off the router.

Anyone?

technophobe-y bump

Punching you in the stomach and ransacking the house - but is not a bad boy??? Come off it, OP - you are kidding yourself. If this is not a bad boy what is???

This will not be cured with getting him into the daylight but by getting someone (his dad?) on your side to help you to lay down the law and stop the violence. Then you can negotiate times and hours on the x-box.

You said that the only way he stops is to turn off the router. So maybe do this more. Set limits. Ie. xbox time from 5-7, and then homework(or vice versa). If he is violent or ransacks the house, remove it, then he looses it completely. If this means physically removing it from the house for a couple of days, then so be it (give it to a neighbour). Maybe a bit of zero tolerance is needed.

When he was younger, did he do any sports or have other interests? Perhaps investigate these.

Maybe he loves his computer stuff so much that he wants to do something with computers and or games. There are enough jobs there and he'll make good money.

REALLY? I'd love to proven wrong, but I reckon the actual number of jobs that basically require lots of playing games all day is very very very small.

Jobs that require old-fashioned programmers: lots, sure. But the idea there's a lot of employment in the games industry... I'm struggling with that. Links please?

Maid of Honor at my wedding is a game-tester for a living; but she wasn't formally trained in IT.

'I have not had a single word from him In seven months'
Ummmmm sorry but you really do need tu speak to someone. In fact cahms and school.

He is not a good boy. With what you have told me I would assume he has mental health problems (and I have a child like this)

@lljkk

There's more then just sitting in front of the computer playing games. These days everyone uses a computer. And often those things don't want to do what we want them to do.

Children and teenagers who have an interest in computers will often play games on them. And just continue to develop their skills with the computer.

There's a lot you can do with them and a lot of computer related jobs are out there.

remove the xbox turn off the modem

if he assaults you phone the police

I am astounded the amount of parents I have read on here that would be beaten by their child because they don't want to involve the police

give fair warning - I want you to behave in x way, if you do not xbox will be removed, if I am assaulted I will phone the police

Sorry, but house ransacked and being punched equals he is not a good boy.
Which "good boy" would hit his mother?

He is 14 and needs help. This is your responsibility, you are the parent.

You haven't spoken to him in 7 months? Are you kidding?
I have a 15 yo and ahe has gone through phases of internet addiction, I had to almost wrestle the phone off her, and the consequence was no phone for a while.
They are still kids, some cannot be left to their own devices when tempted with limitless online time or xbox time.

No wonder his grades are slipping of he doesn't get sleep.

He is already in trouble, please help him! Start with school, talk about bus grades, talk to gp and maybe get a camhs referal. Remove the xbox. If he turns violent, call the police.

sorry for typos

profile, if he only sits and plays, he won't develop any skills other than game tester skills. If his grades go downhill he won't get good gcses or alevels and won't have the option to go for any of the interesting computer related jobs.
If that's what he is interested in. He might be just addicted to the alternative world into which he retreats and puts up a fight when pulled back into the real world.