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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Am I insane to consider letting my 15 & 16 year olds stay home alone tonight?

26 replies

Spidermama · 31/12/2013 12:50

I say 'alone' but they are allowed up to 2 friends each. They don't want to come to the house party we're going to.

OP posts:
Dwerf · 31/12/2013 12:52

If you trust them and the four extras, why not?

Original poster
Spidermama · 31/12/2013 12:56

That's what I thought Dwarf but my friends, husband and mum tell me I'm mad. I feel it's important they get space to socialise without parents around now and again.

OP posts:
CaterpillarCara · 31/12/2013 12:56

Yes. Sorry. I think of all the nights of the year this is not the one to do it.

CaptainSweatPants · 31/12/2013 12:57

As long as no one else is invited & they won't have access to alcohol I would

Original poster
Spidermama · 31/12/2013 13:02

I have talked to them over the past couple of weeks about what behaviour I expect. I have a friend close by willing to look in on them. I will call them too.

OP posts:
scousemouser · 31/12/2013 13:06

I personally wouldn't be worried and could not make the 16 go with me, could you phone every so often to check up on them.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/12/2013 13:06

I think they'd be fine tbh.

RestingActress · 31/12/2013 13:06

Only you know how trustworthy they are. If I were my parents I wouldn't have - with justification

Original poster
Spidermama · 31/12/2013 13:06

I should probably make sure all the other parents know and are happy with the situation. The mother of one girl says she's a bit worried but the dad is happy with it.

OP posts:
curlew · 31/12/2013 13:07

I would want to know who the two friends are. And I would want them to be in the house before I left. But apart from that, then I'd do it.

Lottiedoubtie · 31/12/2013 13:10

Have you met all the friends before?

I would a) assume that they WILL drink. b) be back in the house before midnight- and tell them in advance you will be.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/12/2013 13:16

Lottie's advice is good.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/12/2013 13:17

Although I'd probably say 12.30.

finallydelurking · 31/12/2013 15:42

I would provided neither of them have recent 'form' Smile

finallydelurking · 31/12/2013 15:43

I would provided neither of them have recent 'form' Smile

Original poster
Spidermama · 31/12/2013 15:47

I should make clear we are intending to be out until about 2am.

OP posts:
CaterpillarCara · 31/12/2013 17:25

Do they know what to do if one of them does over-indulge?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 31/12/2013 17:48

I wouldn't leave them until 2, no. But I would leave them from say, 7.30 to 12.30.

bigTillyMintspie · 31/12/2013 17:57

Only you know your DC and their friends. I agree that it is important for them to socialise on their own, but there is such a lot of pressure on NYE being "the" night, that I would worry a bit about leaving them till 2 unsupervised.

What if one of them drinks way too much and needs hospitalising? That seems to happen very regularly at the parties for this age group.

CaterpillarCara · 31/12/2013 18:01

When I was eighteen, I planned a very sensible and similar night in. A friend of a friend got wind of it and put up a sign on his workplace noticeboard. Over one hundred people turned up. I called the police myself.

Not saying this will happen, but I would talk through possible scenarios and how to get help if things do go wrong. That was pre-Facebook days, now it would only take a message like "having fun at the Spiders" for the whole evening to change.

The police were lovely and helpful, because they could see it was not my fault and I was trying to fix it.

Likewise, if someone does drink to much or (god forbid) take drugs which get out of hand, do they know what to do?

teenagetantrums · 31/12/2013 18:14

If you trust them leave them, do they drink? if so i would move your booze out of their sight just incase. If you really don't trust them get your friend to pop over a few times. Also don't tell them you are coming back at 2am, tell them you will be late, then they wont be sure when to expect you. My Ds was fine at that age, him and his mates just played playstation. My DD on the other hand would have had 20 friends in and a full blown party as soon as my back was turned.

AphraBane · 31/12/2013 18:22

Totally depends on the teenager. DD1 is now 15 and I would have no qualms about her and her friends - they would make hot chocolate, popcorn and watch a few movies and giggle a lot. DD2 is only 11 now, but her personality is totally different, and I suspect when she's 15 or 16 she would be more likely to have the kind of friends who would smuggle in alcohol and accidentally broadcast the 'party' message on FB.

IHatePopUpTents · 31/12/2013 18:42

Sounds counter intuitive but maybe provide some alco pops? If they already have stuff to drink (which won't have them being sick etc!) maybe the temptation to spend their money to bring more will be reduced? :/

RestingActress · 01/01/2014 20:16

So what state was your house in when you got back Spider?

Original poster
Spidermama · 02/01/2014 12:32

It went pretty smoothly in a way. Ds pretty much stayed in his room with his friends playing play station. The three girls did it properly downstairs with food and dips and music. They did the countdown to midnight then played Gangnam Style. They found and consumed the small amounts of alcohol I hadn't hidden. (All part of the plan). Mess was minimal.

Dd was a bit disgruntled that the boys were so anti social and didnt even come down for midnight. Understandably.

The two younger kids had a great time round the babysitter's and dh and I had it large at a house party.

A largely successful experiment on the whole. Thanks for your help and views on this.

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