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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

pleeaaase help with with 15yr old dd

3 replies

coco35 · 22/12/2013 16:35

Oh i am at a loss as to how to handle my dd anymore.
She is not a wild child but still a very difficult one to parent.
She has a deep and quiet personality and one of those kids that is bone idle and would literally not get dressed or get fresh air if i didnt insist.
She would jump up to get ready though if i said we were goin shopping or something like that and has friends so its not as if she reclusive -just lazy.

I have noticed twice recently that her friends while here visiting have kind said to her hang on give your mam a break. She has started to get very personal in her insults towards be and extremely defiant. If i even said turn down the tv while she would be sitting right next to remote she would say in a minute and continue to ignore me.

So last night after a few different small things she wouldnt do i said ok i have had enough and turned off wifi. This had made her worse as she has said now that she can do what she likes as i cant punish her anymore then i have! She is expected at an event this eve and is refusing point blank to go.

I am seperated from her dad but i have just told her rightly or wrongly that i am giving her 30 mins to think about her behaviour and then i am phoning her dad to come and have a word.This is the first time ever i have had to resort to him.

I told her i cannot have a teen under my roof who is defying me and who i cant control.

As i have said she is the deep type that wont ever tell me anything about what is going on. I dont have her passwords for facebook or mobile and she wont friend me on fb.

Please advise me.............she is my first dc and i havent a clue what to do.

OP posts:
RhondaJean · 22/12/2013 16:38

What is the event? Who will suffer if she doesn't go? I'd just say ok and leave it and not mention it again (unless it's a dying grannie or similar) as she's obviously using it to rile you and get back at you and if at the end of the day it's her who loses out, leave her to it.

Who pays for the items she uses for fb and texts?

This sounds in some ways a bit like my 14yo at times.

coco35 · 22/12/2013 16:46

No one will get hurt but she is supposed to be helping out - its a scout event and she is supposed to be ushering etc. I suppose its not the end of the world if she doesnt go? But two reasons i think she should go number one they will be expecting her there and need her help number 2 she will have gotten away with defying me so what happens next time??

I pay for everything she has

OP posts:
RhondaJean · 22/12/2013 16:48

You have two options re the event - either force her to go with all the fuss that will cause, or call the group leader and explain quite clearly why she will not be there - don't say she is ill etc. actually I would try just threatening that to see the response.

If you pay the bills, remove the items. Simple.

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