Feel burnt out and like going away

[EloiseintheSun]

How do you cope with a DS3, 18, who almost constantly criticizes you; who speaks unkindly and rudely; and with a DH who just doesn't get it. DS is rarely unkind to him and when I try to talk to the two of them about DS's behaviour and how it has got to change, DS sounds indignant and claims that I'm exaggerating or even telling lies. I am not.

I'm exhausted, very unhappy and right now I have a stonking headache. I do an awful lot for DS, have supported him through rough patches and now through a repeat year at school. Of course, that's my job. But just occasionally I'd like him to think about how he's treating me and not always play the victim.

I work f/t, have to manage a modest and tight budget, and really need to know that I'm coming home to a cheerful home. It feels far from that at the moment.

I know that sometimes the advice on here is to detach. I've thought of taking myself off for a couple of days in the holidays (DS doesn't want to go away even for a day trip). Has anyone done that - just gone off to get some space for a short while?

Gosh, no real advice, just lots of sympathy. It's tough being a mum sometimes. Do you get any love and affection from your DH in other ways (I understand he doesn't get the teen thing)?

This might sound obvious, but have you told DS how his behaviour makes you feel? Just calmly, some time.

I think you're absolutely right - take some time for yourself and go right away. I went away earlier this year, stayed in a caravan for 4 days just me and the dog. I went for lovely walks, had whatever I liked to eat, read a book and just enjoyed not having to think about anyone else for a change - bliss!

There's nothing to say that his attitude (or that of your DH for that matter) will have changed when you get back but it will definitely help with the detachment thing to remember that you're entitled to your own life.

Yes I took myself off for a week in the summer. It was bloody marvellous. I only had myself to please. Read loads of books, walked, had loads of fun.
I might do the same again this year.
Fuck 'em.

Yes, a couple of times. I'm a single parent, so it took precision planning, but it was worth it. In fact, I think I'm over-due for another break... I reckon it has been about 5 years since the last... Thanks for the nudge, and go for it!