16yo dd bf in prison

[Alihon13]

Where do I start. Six months ago dd (15 at time) met this 23 year old. All her friends told her he was bad news. He had been in jail etc. she has mostly been upfront from the start and I refused to let her see him unless he came and met me first.

After about 4 months and sneaking behind my back he eventually agreed and i met him. he came across as young for his age and I allowed them to meet up (he lives about 20 miles away).

Anyway shortly after all this he went out one night and ended up being arrested. He has just been imprisoned for several months. DD is refusing to see he is no good and will not change. She now wants to stand by her man and seems to think once he gets out she and he can just carry on.

I just don't know how best to handle it. There is no way I want her anywhere near him.
Sorry if I have rambled.

What a difficult situation.

the more you push them apart the longer they will be together.
do remind her if they have sex, he can be prosecuted for rape, unless of course she turns 16 after he comes out.

Some will say ground her indefinitely, but that will add to the romance of it all.

Sorry not much use!

might also be worth spelling out what he sees in her - it isn't her fascinating personality and intelligent conversation, I'm afraid. No normal 23 year old would find a 15 year old interesting.

she is being used.

Try not to show how glad you are he's locked up

Find out what for, get the court documents, talk her through what he's done - it's quite hard to get sent to jail for a first offence so talk about that

And keep her very busy in the hope she takes up with someone else before he gets out

Don't slag him off

Oh, that's a difficult situation, I feel for you :( The problem is as an adult you can look at the situation as a whole and see everything it's likely to point towards but as a teenager she is naively seeing the good in him and perhaps even hoping she can "make him better".

I agree any outright trying to make her see sense, she will ignore or write off as "they don't understand him/me/our love", gah!

I wonder if it's possible to sneakily infiltrate her life with various good relationship models/feminist literature/general countering of mainstream relationship bullshit, NOT directly relating it to him but just sort of having it around and hoping that she takes something from it. I'm sure some of the posters on the feminist board could recommend some good books about feminism/relationships aimed at teenagers which you could have bought her for Christmas "ages ago".