DS 15 shoplifting

[lemonstartree]

DS is 15 and was caught shoplifting last week. we were lucky that the police were not called - only his school

I ma beside myself this is the latest in a long line of theft /lying / steling from us etc/ He seems to have lost any sense of right and wrong and seems not to care

any ideas what can be done ?

How strict would you be after this. I have cut of his allowance and his GF has dumped him because he cant take her out on her birthday... I think this is a) a direct result of his stealing and b) demonstrates she is pretty shallow- but for him its all MY FAULT..

What is he stealing for? Is it to buy games or clothes? Or does he have any other habits that cost him lots of money?
I have to say I think his gf should dump him if he is getting into trouble with the police and I wouldn't think she was shallow to do it, just sensible!

At the moment he's using the stealing as a weapon against you - 'look at meeeeee' - and seeing just how far he can push it. Yes, he's already got some of the consequences - loss of GF - but being a teen he chooses to pretend thats your fault, not his, and therefore its another thing to use to hit you with.

Have one solid conversation with him where you explain in a very quiet steely calm voice that the next time this happens you will walk away/not respond. This means the police will be called. And no, you wont pick him up from the police station or 'be nice' about it. And if you can get the GF to tell him thats why its over so much the better.

Behaviour of this sort has very adult consequences. Dont protect him from that.