Self harming and hearing voices

[Blossomflowers]

I have posted about this in relationships but thought someone this might be more an appropriate place for some support. I have found out yesterday from school that DS 13 had confessed to to teacher ( through writing) that he is hearing voices, self harming, seeing people/things that are not there. I have spoken to him and he broke down and told me everything, also has been throwing up after food as the voices tell him he is fat. I am calling the GP this morning and school to arrange counselling there, they seem very supportive. I wondered if anyone could share their experiences of this. Feeling pretty upset right now.

Just wanted to say I hope you get some help and support for your son, it must be a frightening time for you both. sorry I dont have any constructive advise, apart from having a son too and knowing how much it hurts as a mum when you cant fix things for them. xxxx

Thanks maggie I spoke to a lovely GP this morning she really empathetic bless her. We have an appointment for 5. I think DS will find it difficult to talk but will also be relieved that he has people on his side. I am trying to be calm, Might be 13 and taller than me but he is still me baby.

That is great that the GP was so supportive and that your DS is willing to go for help. Fingers crossed. It's really horrible to see your teens so upset.

Hi Blossom

I'm really sorry to hear that your son is struggling at the moment. I thought I'd post a reply for you as I've been in his position and I've been 'through the system' shall we say. The best thing you can do is to just be there for him, let him talk if he wants, and provide him with opportunities. Maybe not by constantly asking, but spending time doing something just you and him (cooking, watching TV, being in the same room but doing different hobbies) so that he can open up without there being a big so g and dance about it. Don't force him to talk though, and don't feel left out if he can't open up to you - sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger.

My school were very supportive, allowed me to leave lessons if I wasn't coping and to sit somewhere safe and quiet. They were lenient about deadlines too which was brilliant.

I was referred to my local CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service). They have lots of different therapy options, all provided by peadiatric-specialised psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists.

Does his school have a school counsellor? I found the one at my school was amazing and really listened to me. It was helpful her being at school too - I could focus on the days of the week I would see her and that helped me through the days.

Lastly I would recommend NSHN (National Self Harm Network) www.nshn.co.uk They have lots of resources for sufferers and for their families. They also have a very well moderated forum for people to chat to others. I found it a lifesaver to know that I wasn't alone in having such crazy and scary thoughts. They also have a 'friends and family' section - it's up to you whether you wanted to give the link to your son or post on there yourself.

I really hope that your son gets the support he needs - you sound like a fantastic mum and you're doing all of the right things.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions

Sparkle
xXx

Hi blossom.
My eldest dd is 16 and she has had several periods in hospital, a secure unit and been sectioned twice. She is now moving (tomorrow!) to a specialist unit for girls who self harm and have risky behaviours.
She has found DBT to be helpful, it's specifically for self harming type behaviour. She is now on a low dose of anti psychotics and an anti depressant (have had many different combinations) she hasn't self harmed for over a month now and doesn't mention the voices anymore.
Not saying your ds will be this extreme and hopefully some early intervention will help him - but just saying I understand and if you want any advice or an ear, just pm me x

Mummy thanks for you post. We saw GP last and she is referring him urgently to CAHMS, not sure how long that will take, also going to try and speak to the school and sort out a counseling there. I was proud he was very open and honest with GP, she asked to see him arms where he had cut himself but refused but showed me later, the cuts seem fairly shallow thank goodness. Have to say it makes me feel sick but did not let him know that. Funny he said on the way home that he was surprised I was not angry with him for self harming, have told we are going to get him better and he will be safe. Funny you say about doing stuff together he suddenly seems to want to spend more time with me, even baked a cake like we used to.
Moxie I am sorry to hear about your DD sounds so very hard, hope you both get through this.

Had to lie to his dad about why we were so late yesterday, DS would see it as betrayal if I told him. Oddly he knows now his dad has done the same thing as saw scars on his arm so I could not deny it. I could write a whole new thread on that.
Sorry epic post

Hi Blossom I'm sorry your DS is going through this. It is so hard to watch your child suffering, knowing that you are limited in being able to "make it better" for them.

Until the CAHMS referral comes through, is there any chance the school have an on-site counsellor he could see? My eldest DS did this and found it really helpful. In fact, I actually think school counsellor was more effective: taught him some CBT techniques for coping etc.

Also, the Samaritans are an excellent source of support. Callers don't have to be suicidal - they are there to support everyone who is is experiencing emotional distress or difficulties. He can email or text if he doesn't want to talk over the phone or face-to-face. The emails & texts are completely anonymous: the system automatically assigns a number to replace the senders' email/phone details.

Hi *Ujjayi) Thanks for the post. Things have moved so quickly since Wend, we already have a CAHMS referral appointment is booked for the 19th. Have has long chat with his head of year today and he is going to look into the bullying at school, help with lunch times and find him a "safe" place to eat, as DS now not eat in front of anyone and will start seeing a counsellor at school until the appointment. DS cutting is now all over his arms , wrists, and stomach but they look fairly superficial. If I am honest this makes me really angry and upset but would not let DS know this. Seems like self harm is very evident at the school some kind of fab almost. We never had this when I was growing up. I would love to hear from anyone else with experience of this.

I agree about the self harming. It certainly seems more widespread now than during my teens. Glad you have the appt so soon. Keep posting here - don't forget you need support too.

One more place to try is Beat or Beat it? Will check details for you later but it is an ED support/info/campaign group. EDs in boys is on the rise and there is lots of support out there.

Hi Blossom, I'm sorry you and your son are going through this, and hope he gets some support quickly. I don't have any direct experience myself, but I have a close friend who has heard voices since adolescence, and another good friend whose daughter has been in and out of hospital this year due to bulimia and self harming. Here are a couple of other useful organisations/websites I'm aware of:
Hearing Voices Network
Young Minds

So first counselling session tomorrow, not sure what to expect. Both DS and I have been given forms to fill in. DS has opened up to a close family member who has told me she thinks his Dad is the main problem.