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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Found Weed In DS 14 room...

35 replies

ShazzyDesires · 04/11/2013 12:26

My husband found a spliff and a homemade bong in my son's room, he is only 14.
I'm absolutely devastated. He's at school at the moment.
How should I approach him. Has anyone else been through this.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 14/11/2013 08:59

Most teenagers do. They experiment and see it as no big deal. Bin it before he gets home. My son was the same at 14 and mum in my book group teacher at local school was v critical turned out her son sold it to him! And now 5 yrs on he is still selling it and my ds is at uni. It really is very common now and without exception everyone in ds group was smoking it in the park even those whose parents refused to believe it. Tread carefully and talk about it rather than rant.

noddyholder · 14/11/2013 09:01

All those symptoms are true of non weed smoking teen boys too.

Kazzyv · 14/11/2013 20:53

One of the biggest issues, which surprised me, was how cheap grass is and how easy to get. The reality is that teenagers will experiment with drink or drugs whatever we as parents say or do. When alcohol is so expensive it is no wonder teenagers turn to grass when £5 can have the same effect as £20 or more of alcohol. All a parent can do is try to defer the age the experimenting starts and be a safe haven when it is needed.

wanderings · 15/11/2013 07:28

Damage to one's life by drugs: long.

Damage to one's life by a less than clear CRB check: long.

Keep emphasising both; I think the latter really doesn't get mentioned enough. It's hard enough for young people to get jobs these days, if they get caught for drug use it could lead to very long unemployment.

flow4 · 15/11/2013 10:01

I agree with luke, except my classification is even simpler: I think there are just two types of cannabis smokers: those who do it for 'time out' from lives they basically enjoy, and those who do it to 'opt out' of lives they basically hate.

Someone in the first group is likely to manage their drug use so it doesn't interfere with the rest of their life, smoke at weekends or occasionally, rarely do it in public, take drugs for pleasure or to celebrate, and if they 'overdo' it, they'll learn from that and be even more careful in future.

Someone in the second group doesn't manage their drug use well, smokes in the morning before school/work, is stoned/otherwise off their head in public, binges frequently, isn't always fussy about what they take, gets wrecked for pleasure but also (perhaps more often) to deal with difficult emotions like anger, boredom and fear.

If your teen is in the first group, he'll probably be OK. If he's in the second, he's likely to have problems at school, with the police, and risks to his physical and mental health are much higher too.

The trouble with teenagers is, because they aren't always good at judging risk and like to do what other teens do, they can slip from the first group to the second.

As a parent, I think you can help by...

  • Making sure they have things in their life they enjoy and that they need not to be stoned for - whether that's sport, music or whatever. You need to remember that it has to be something they enjoy and want to do, rather than something you want them to do and think is important!
  • Helping them be as well informed as possible - which means you have to deal with your own fears and 'freak outs' privately, so they feel they can talk to you openly.

My own son slipped from the first group to the second, and we had some really nightmarish times... But he found something he wanted to do, and recognised the 'bad side' of drugs as well as the fun side, and has now got himself back on track... Which will maybe give hope to parents whose kids are struggling still...

baldpussyslam123 · 05/11/2014 01:11

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baldpussyslam123 · 05/11/2014 01:13

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Blossomflowers · 06/11/2014 14:17

MY 14 year old is being talked to by the police as I write, as he stupidly bought some weed for a friend. Luckily DS keep any, I know he smokes and I hate it. Have tried talking to him, with holding money, so far nothing seems to be getting through to him. Hopefully police chat might scare him a bit.Oh ans he was boasting on FB about smoking which the police have read

Bankofmumanddad · 07/11/2014 15:31

Call the police and report him to teach him a lesson, he will get a caution but it would scare him into never using again.

ConcernedMum102 · 27/04/2016 12:31

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