Would you go on holiday without your 17 year old?

[winniemum]

Just that really. We have a 17yr old DD. DH wants to go away for 5 days.My DD doesn't want to come. I'm not sure about leaving her as I think she'll be lonely and it's her half term too. I don't think we should go but DH does and says if she doesn't want to come it means he doesn't get a holiday. Not sure what to do.

It would be a bit dull, but I am (reluctantly) beginning to realise that the time will come when we will have to manage our entertainment without dd.

So yes, if that is what she wanted, and if there was no way to compromise, then I would. At that age, I think they have to take responsibility for knowing themselves whether they will be lonely or not.

Assuming that your dd is somebody who can be trusted to remember that it is your house.

I left my 16 DS for 10 days. He had friends staying with him and my neighbour/friend kept an eye on him.

I think it is really odd to even question leaving a 17 year old home for a few days.

DS1 - yes, and we did, twice (eight days and a fortnight) before he was 18, after a couple of one or two nights away.

DS2, 17 last week - NFW. Possibly next summer, but definitely not at the moment.

Yes I would and have.

I wouldn't leave a teenager on their own, would invite grandparents to stay or make other arrangements but yes, in principle. It's hard enough finding a holiday that a 12 year old will enjoy with his parents so I can quite understand a 17 year old not wanting to go away with parents.

I refused to go on 'family' holidays from the age of about 13.

It would be a bit dull, but I am (reluctantly) beginning to realise that the time will come when we will have to manage our entertainment without dd - actually I think the opposite - I can't wait for child free holidays myself .

I think it is really odd to even question leaving a 17 year old home for a few days - haven't you read the stories about teenagers having parties and wrecking the home? I am sure every parent likes to think 'my teenager wouldn't do that'

OP, re-reading your posts it seems as if you have no real reason to believe she will call in a bunch of adolescent thugs to wreck the house

your concern seems to be that she may be lonely

and so she may

but at 17 I really think that should be her responsibility to decide whether she minds being lonely or not

this is a girl who will soon making major decisions about her whole future- deciding whether she wants to be alone or with you for 5 days is nothing compared to all the decisions she will have to make during her first week at uni

get her used to the idea

DD(17) sent us on holiday without her. She reasoned that for 5 years she'd behaved like an arse (true) and that she ruined things for everyone (not permanently, but I'm a thick skinned bugger).

So we arranged for groceries, left the booze with a neighbour, shared a picture of my meat cleaver with her friends on FB and flew somewhere 3 hours away in fear and trembling.

Second honeymoon, came home to a clean house and a thank you note from her friends "for letting us have DD for a whole week".

YMMV.