Quick opinions needed - should I give ds spends for school trip?

[lilibet]

It's ds1's (13) school trip to Alton Towers tomorrow, it's been greatly anticipated. He gets £10 a month pocket money which he always puts straight on his phone, this weekend he has had a fiver off his dad which he spent on a game and £2 off his Grandma whcih he still has. We have said that if he does some jobs we will give him some more money as we know that with just £2 when his mates have got more he's not going to have as good a day. He won't be able to buy lunch, he will have to take sandwiches, he won't be able to buy the photos of him and his mates on rides etc etc.

He has tidied his sock drawer for a pound and watered all 11 of my tubs for another pound and is now refusing to do anything else. He doesn't see why he should. He doesn't see why we can't just give him the money.

I wnat him to have a good day and we were thinking of enough jobs to give him a tenner or so and as you can see we were hardly getting him to sweep the chimney. When ds1 (9) had his trip a while back he did jobs to get £5 which was the maximum they could take.

I know in the mornign when I only give him £2 for a day out I'll feel really crap - what would you do?

I don't have teenagers yet, lilibet but my instinct is that it would be a big mistake to give him more money if you have already said that he has to earn it via doing jobs. My guess is that he just doesn't believe you. I reckon he thinks you're going to give in and is behaving accordingly. I think you probably have to follow through if you want him to believe what you say in the future. It really sounds like he's testing the boundaries a bit here to me. I think he's picked up on your ambivilence and there's possibly a strong element of "I'm 99.9999% certain Mum won't really want me to have less money than my mates and will top up my spends so I'm not going to bother doing these tedious jobs." going on here. And I wouldn't be happy with that at all, personally. I think I'd go to him now and say firmly but not angrily "Look son. This is your last chance. I don't want you to go on the trip tomorrow with just £2 and I don't think you want that either. But I am standing by my decision and I am not changing my mind. If you want to take any more money you have to earn it. I am not discussing the situation further. It is your decision." Or something like that. And if that doesn't work DEFINITELY no more dosh, I'd say.

It will probably be hot tomorrow and therefore he will need drinks/icecreams to keep cool. I would imagine he will not get far on £2 at Alton Towers. Has he any savings at all? I would say "I give you the opportunity to earn more money, you didn't take me up on it, so you can use your own money".

So what did you do ??

At 7.15 this morning he said to me "how much will I get if I clean the lounge window?"

Not that it's dirty or anything!!!

As he had half an hour before his bus left I gave him a loaf of bread, a pack of ham, the butter and some freezer bags. Told him he could save me a job and make the lunchtime sandwiches for freezing for the next week. He looked dropped on!!

But he got on with it, so he had the £2 from his Grandma, the £2 he had already earned and another £2 for his efforts this morning. He had found a pound in his room and took a packed lunch so hopefully he will have a great day

Sorry - was playing about with my old names!!

quite like that one

Sorry - was playing about with my old names!!

quite like that one

Good compromise.

LOl at cleaning windows, it was obviously preying on his mind.

Well done for going down to the wire.