Parties, Alcohol && Mixed Gender Sleepovers.

[Eviejaes85]

My 14 year old dd has asked me can she go to a Halloween party. She has admitted that there is going to be alcohol there, she also asked me could she sleepover at the boys house with a group of girls and boys from school. I want her to go but I'm not sure as a parent I could let her.. help?

Harrison I am the only parent who requests such info. Apparently.
If my DS14 wanted a gathering with loads of teenage boys who would be drinking /smoking weed I'd be more than uncomfortable. A far as I'm concerned it's not happening on my watch. How other households operate is beyond me.
Fortunately my DD14's idea of a fun night is 6 girlfriends in pj's curling their hair and eating chocolate
When I last demanded a land line no for a party my DS15 said no, and stayed out all night, we had no idea where he was.
How about the parents who turned a blind eye to my son's cannabis use at 13 years of age, they didn't think I needed to know - he has now moved on to stronger drugs. Normal part of growing up in London?

I would go with picking her up at midnight. That seems like a reasonable compromise.

I'm going to be the dissenting voice here. I can completely understand the concerns and allowing her to go could go very wrong. However if she learns that you say no when she makes these requests, she could quite possibly go down the route of lying about things in future rather than risk refusal. I also think that if her genuine friends, the ones you know, are going then she will be embarrassed about being left out - and that's quite a big deal at that age.

Having heard that there will be some supervision, I'd have a serious chat with her expressing your concerns, making it clear that you are putting your trust in her and that breaking that trust will have consequences. If she's a sensible child in general then you probably don't have much to worry about, just make it clear to her that if there's anything going on she's not happy about then you're on the end of the phone, any time of the night, and will be right there if she needs you.