Hi, My son has just come to live with myself, my partner and my step daughter over the last three months or so.
Trouble I am having is that I have my parenting skills and my partner has hers as well, we are stuck in the middle and she feels it is ruining our relationship, to a certain degree. I accept this. Not too go to much into this , my son has been very unsettled indeed, basically he's been pulled from pillar to post and now for the second time has come to live with me, my partner says that I should not continue with my do, do , do attitude, but in a sense there is love support and now stability in his life as that is what was missing before, she is pushing me to my tethers end and its hurting me and making us both unhappy indeed. Now I love my son dearly, but just maybe I am not equipped with the verbal tools needed or maybe not strong enough for her to get my son where he needs to be. since being with us he has stared counselling sessions, we have helped him find a job, of which he is holding down be it only part time, but he is trying and I think from his attitude he really enjoys it, he works on weekend which we have ferry him around, but there is where one issue is, because we have fetch him and drop him off, she then says he cant do every weekend, well what is that telling him? one minute he needs to work and the other he cant!!!!
Then there is coming in late, well 10pm isn't late in my book but she is unsettled with this and cant abide my rules as they are different to hers, he is a teenager and I frequently have to reiterate rules to him, about how we are as a family and time we all need together. he will get it I am sure but then my partner throws a mix in like what about when he comes in later. she is training to be a counsellor and I feel like I'm being counselled in my own home and being used as a practical exam, we are on the verge of separation because of this problem.
my needs to grow up and to a large hasn't been able to because he has been left to fend for himself, Any advise anyone there is more to add...
Nigel