Teenage boys, you've got to love them! Who else's does this?

[JuanPotatoTwo]

Just went over to ds2 and leant over him:

Ds2 (looking alarmed): "Whachya doin?"

Me: "Kissing you"

Ds2 (trying to back off further into the settee): "Whaaattt? What for?"

I plant the kiss.

Ds2: "Eww, you're gay, gerroff"

He loves me really, honest

Don't leave the thread MissS. 12 is such a tricky age , for them and you. He's on the verge of all those horrible scary changes, hormones are rampant, doesn't know if he's a little boy or a teenager etc. Physical changes are probably happening as well as mental ones. He'll come through the other end at some point although it might not be to pleasant until you get there. Hang on in there.

Oh god - mine can be awful at times . He's been a challenge over the years (to say the least) and we've been referred to paed. psych. twice when his behaviour has been at its worst. He is definitely easier now that he's 16, but my goodness, he's certainly not a bed of roses and his behaviour has had me in tears over the years. Please don't feel as if everyone on this thread has angels - we don't have an easy time of it with DS1, sadly.

No physical changes yet but does that mean there won't be emotional ones? So, I Need to change then if he is normal. He frequently leaves me speechless with his rudeness. I have had enough today so took all his clothes out of the wash basket and won't wash them. I am planning on letting him run out as he is a pain in the arse about them. Won't put them away, puts clean stuff back to wash as can't be arsed to put them in the drawers. Puts everything in the wrong drawers and then demands clean whatevers. Shoves his ironed uniform in the wardrobe so it is all caught up and creased again. etc etc etc fucking cetra

Could be lots of emotional changes going on, he's on the verge of puberty and adolescence, those hormones will be raging. The clothes thing sounds very familiar, all of mine have done it and it's so frustrating to know that all your efforts to wash/iron etc have gone unappreciated. What I did was stop ironing any of their clothes, except school ones (and you could probably stop ironing those too - read the current thread about "if you were a teacher what would you think of a 16yr old wearing crumpled clothes!). I also stopped putting their stuff away, just left it folded/hung outside their rooms.

I can't lie and say they became any tidier or more appreciative, but I really think it's a case of picking your battles. I think the most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open - you don't want to get in a situation where your only relationship with him is a shouty one, he needs to know he can talk to you, and you need to know you can trust him.

I think maybe it could help if you two go out somewhere when you're both in a good mood and you can discuss your relationship. You can tell him what you expect of him and vice versa, and then you can set out some guidelines which you're both expected to stick too.

Mine is currently behaving like a sulky 5 year old because despite I won't write his Uni Personal Statement for him. I have coached, encouraged, pointed out resources that show you how to do the damn thing at his request, but no it seems only writing it will do. Well it ain't gonna happen, kid

I want to just have a break. We used to be so close.

Miss Strawberry they go through huge emotional upheaval and IMO boys don't tend to talk about things (my son wouldn't discuss things the way my daughter does)

My DS is taller than me and very slim (skinny). He's almost Sheldon Cooper like in his adolescent awkwardness,
I know (as a female) that girls find him attractive but he seems unaware or he blushes (which is quite sweet but he wouldn't think so)

On holiday he didn't sunbathe much- he's not really one to uncover but I think he's becoming aware of the changes in himself.
Sometimes the emotional precedes the physical. I know my DD is going to be a hormonal tornado .

I sometimes tell mine "I love you but I detest the things you do. You are responsible for your actions and you can change those. But whatever happens, I'm your mum"

I did read (not sure how true it is) that a child will only tell you they hate you if they are secure enough to test the boundaries.

He'll come back, don't worry. DD went seriously off the rails for a few years but she's better than ever now. This too shall pass, promise

Miss Strawberry at least we can go out and kiss the guinea-pigs

I feel I expect too much of him. Every Sunday is the same when we can't go out.

Just one Guinea pig left now and she isn't well either.

I'm off to bed. Today was shit.

Thanks .

MissS please don't go. You must understand that what makes this thread so sweet to most (all?!) of us is that none of our boys are the way we have described them all of the time. They all have 'Kevin the Teenager' moments. Some of these "moments" last rather longer than others. And some of us have completed the journey and have met the wonderful men that their sons turned into.

You are not a bad parent. A bad parent would not bother to look for solutions.

Why not start a thread asking for advice on how to manage your ds?

Mine has more Bart Simpson days than Angel Gabriel days for sure

Had to stop my DS with lip kisses as I don't think it's appropriate at his age (13 now 11 then) but we are really huggy cheek kisses every night or just coz we are hugging. He is real affectionate to me in private in a teenage way. I loves my DS he is growing up but will always be my baby boy x

DS is 13 I draw the line on pats on the head, yes he is bigger than me but I'm still mum x

MissStrawberry sorry you're having a hard time with your DS. If it helps, I posted that all mine are lovely now, but I have to admit that at times they were all a PITA at 12. It will get better, but weathering the teenage storm is tough at times. Hang on in there - you're a great mum because you care.

Yep, hang on in there MissStrawberry - it does get better. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel (emphasis on beginning...), but there have been times over the last few years where it's been awful. Just keep telling yourself that it will pass, and that you are doing a bloody good job - there are parents out there who genuinely don't give a hoot what their kids are up to, or how they behave. You obviously do, and that will set him up for life. He might not realise it now, but you've put the safety nets up and while he might push against them he will come back to you

MissS, I doubt it makes you feel any better, but my DD is 12 and she's the same.

DS is 13 and the loveliest child in the world. They've been brought up the same, obviously.

Sometimes they're just like that. It's not your fault, nor is it necessarily anything you've done. It's just who they are. But it can't last forever. It really can't.

MissS don't be fooled by all our lovely stories, we have all been through what you are experiencing to some degree or another.

The lovely 12 year old DS I have spoken of can also be a little shit, is a ball of hormones which regularly explode, his bedroom is a shambles, clothes all over the floor etc. I have tried to retrain myself - "Pick your battles" is indeed the best advice. They press your buttons like nobody else. Decide what really matters to you and try and look at the positives of things he does doe. The more we nag, the more they hear white noise!

How long does it last as it has been a good year so far.

Last night he came for a cuddle at bed time in between being cheeky to dh as clearly he knows better than DH.

Won't see him until much later as something has come up so he'll be home alone for 2 3/4 hours but have baked and left tea for him in his brother's TTTE lunch box .

One of the toughest parts of parenting, I think, is recognising and accepting that the more they reject us and lash out at us, the more they actually need our love.

i don't accept the use of the word gay as an insult

so no

You shouldnt either

This thread has brought happy tears to my eyes as I sit cuddled with my three year old DS. He's so loving and affectionate and the thought he may not want to hug his old mum one day breaks my heart. So thank you for this lovely thread.

What a gorgeous thread! My ds is very very cuddly (only 8) but my mum pulled me to one side and said that she was worried about how affectionate he was with me and my boundaries werent strong enough.

I felt very and wondered if it was a reflection on her very difficult relationship with my DB.

Long may the hugs continue. [flower]

ILoveAFullFridge - are you saying I don't give him enough love?