Is this normal?

[theredhen]

Ds getting very grumpy if he is expected to do anything that involves leaving the house.

He's 15 and we had a big argument about him going to a school information evening yesterday about one of his gcse's. he just didn't want to go.

He's got an absolute hate for going out and socialising with our family and friends. He's still coming at the moment but moans a lot before we go. Even socialising with his friends has got less lately. He says its enough to see them at school or talk via Skype etc.

I was a quiet, shy teenager but he's more outgoing than I was. I also had no family interaction apart from my immediate family and no one who took an interest in my education so I'm probably frustrated with him because I'm giving him opportunities I would have liked.

Is it just a phase? Should I accept this and still insist he comes to important events but let him opt out if the more casual meet ups with distant relatives?

My 13 yo DS has the same attitude to socialising. Will not invite friends round to our house. Does not want to meet up with friends out of school. Basically his bedroom is his comfort zone and he does not want to move away from the computer.

If someone else invites him round though, he will usually go. He just does not want to initiate anything.
I think it is a typical teenage boy thing. A combination of laziness, insecurity and seeing what he can get away with. They need to learn how to socialise, and to accept the fact that although some family gatherings may not be very exciting, sometimes it is your duty to attend.

What sort of family events do you go to ? Is he expected to be present so elderly relatives can exclaim how big he has grown ? Will there be other teenagers there ? Will Granny be upset if he doesnt come along ? Can he bring a book to read quietly if it is all too boring?

Put your foot down with regard to school events. He HAS to go. If necessary enlist the help of one of his teachers and ask them to give him a bit of cheery encouragement to attend. Give him praise and positive feedback but be prepared to use sanctions if he will not go out/ get involved.

Are there any after school clubs he can join in with to widen his social circle ?

I do think they will grow out of this in another year or so, as they go through adolescence and become more confident about themselves.