Called my dd a cow this morning. Upset. Wish I had a mum to talk to.

[Gilbertus]

dd2 had to get to school early as she is in the choir. dd1 was deliberately taking her time and laughing at dd2 who was getting stressed and worried. Dh (who drives them to school - no public transport) was also mooching about and telling dd2 to calm down.

I get up really early to drive dd1 to early morning swim training twice a week which she hates to miss or be late for so I really lost my temper with her belittling dd2s worry about getting to school early. I called her a selfish cow. Dh then lost his temper (very rare!) with me and shouted in my face to shut up. Lovely start to the day.

I always feel so alone if things like this happen. No mum to talk to, no close friend to commiserate/tell me I am being out of order. Its a lonely business.

I have done this before on more than one occasion! I would text her and say sorry you didn't mean it, just a bad morning and that you'll talk about it after school. That's what I would do otherwise I would stress about it all day!

I have a 15 year old Dd and a 12 year old DD. on a bad day they drive me nuts. I do recall calling the older Dd a lazy cow when she made no effort to do anything I had asked. Not right I know but she got the point

I have done worse Try not to dwell too much. Yes you shouldn't of lost it but teenage daughters push some mighty strong buttons some times. Apologise for your choice of words but explain your frustration and ask her to try to empathise with DD2. How would she react if the tables were turned.

Dd spent nearly 90 minutes getting home from drama practice last night and did not pick up her phone whilst I was sitting her imagining her in a ditch somewhere.

I lost it and told her her actions were fucking selfish and I am sick of her thinking her phone is to piss about with bbm, Facebook and to listen to music and not for keeping in touch when she is given a little freedom and responsibility.

Cow is tame compared to that?? Don't sweat it really not that bad.

Is there a way you can make her worry she is going to be late for something whilst acting nonchalantly to teach her a lesson.

I did apologise to Dd though. Am pregnant, fat, feel tired and sick. Told her that if I didn't care about her and love her so I wouldn't worry so much (disclaimer for turning into fishwife!)

Thank you. Madamecastafiore - my dd1 also uses her phone for FB and texting her mates, NEVER rings me to say she is going to be late or in a match - the times I have driven to school to pick her up and then just sat in the car (with her sisters!) for 40 mins having no clue where she is and then finding out that she's in a match miles away and not due back for an hour....she never has her phone turned on seemingly though if I check her FB she has always managed to 'like' peoples statuses

Texting her is a good idea IF she actually has her phone on her today.

She forgot her swimming stuff and she has swimming practice tonight. Really don't feel like driving all the way to her school and dropping it off.

Ignore her swimming stuff and do not answer your phone if she rings. When she freaks out act totally unbothered.

Dd is going to get a taste if her own medicine from now on. I'm not running around after her. Oh and we confiscated her blackberry and given her a shitty old Nokia. Told her when she can act like a responsible person and remembers what a phone is actually for she can have it back.

The look of disgust on her face was truly amazing!

she was selfish and deliberately nasty. So she got the consequences. Good.

Parenting is supposed to be teamwork. You and husband need to talk this through.