help not had to do this before

[2shoes]

ds has been misbehaving in one of his lessons. he is in yr9 and this is the 1st time I have had letters/complaints/

so I have contacted the school to ask to speak to the teacher as I want to nip it in the bud.
but do I arrange a meeting that I attend or one just for ds to talk to the teacher??
never sure of secondary protocol

I have no experience of this yet either - kids too little

I think i would make an appointment for you and ds to see the teacher together to discuss the issue

HTH

You may be able to deal with this over the phone rather than actually going in but I wouldn't leave your DS to see the teacher on his own. If he is anything like my DS (16) who has had a "chequered" school career you won't get the full story unless you speak to the teacher yourself.

and teachers arn't perfect either remember that.

you should do in and have a meeting with your son present - that way you get teachers version and sons version and can make your own mind up.

remember you can finish the meeting with " i haven't come to any conclusions i will let you have my thoughts in writing / by phone tomorrow"

if anyone reading this is anything like me - someone who likes to think before actually speaking in these situations - you will find that authoritarians will not let you have the space to do this - as silence frightens people and they think they must fill the gap.

it usually only takes me 10 mins to think things over - come to a conclusion and then reply. but of course no one will give you ten minutes.

hope some of this makes sense!

thanks for the advice.
bit annoyed as I have left a message with reception and with his head of year and she still hasn't phoned.
to cap it all he came home and told me he had lost his trousers.............changing for pe

Yes you arrange a meeting with you and the teacher. It is usually a good idea to have ds there at the meeting but not always. You may find you are not feel able to fully back the teacher but will feel obliged to so as not to undermine the teacher in front of ds. In any case ds will probably not say much at the meeting in front of his teacher.

Not that I have any experience of these things, you understand. My ds's are both angels

I am still waiting for techer to ring have left loads of messages

It's so frustrating isn't it? Perhaps you could try to speak to his Head of Year instead. My DS was regularly in trouble for one thing or another and I found that his Head of Year was much better at returning phone calls etc than the teachers who had contacted me in the first place (not sure why!)

have spoken to the head of year she asid she would get the teacher to ring me

update
Teacher phoned me(in her own time seemed very nice.
The problem is she feels ds is not working to his full potential he was doing REALLY well and has been sliding down to average. also not putting the work in in class.
sounds like she is having problems with kids mucking about in class(glad to hear ds wan't one of them) so he will be put on report and his work checked. all sounded really posotive. have had a talk with him and hopefully he will pull his oscks up. as they are doing exam work now any tips gratefully received