I believe my 14 year old DD is smoking, just feel sooooo disappointed and let down. A year ago whilst we were on holiday I saw messages on her mobile phone from a friend discussing cigarettes. Prior to this she had had this ?boyfriend? who had given her some cigarettes which I found out about (boyfriend is no longer on the scene), I talked to her and she promised to never do it again. You can imagine how upset I was to see her discussing them again with her friend shortly after this. She goes to dance class 2 nights a week in our nearby city and I take her and pick her up, as soon as she gets off the school bus she comes in and gets changed and I have to be ready to take her to get there in time, basically a taxi . She loves dancing and wants to do this as a career when leaving school and is always talking about it.
That was a year ago exactly and she is still dancing 2 nights a week and goes through out the summer hols. When all this happened last year I said I would not take or fund her dancing if I ever found out she was smoking again. I maybe shouldn?t have said this but I felt it was something she would never ever risk, we discussed the health implications especially as dancers need to be as healthy as possible and need full use of their lungs.
Tonight (a year on)is my eldest DS's 20th birthday and he has just been into her bedroom and said he can smell smoke. After further investigation I asked her to breath at me, I was devastated, as I knew really when she proceeded to stand 2 foot away from me when doing this she had been smoking. When I moved closer her breath smelt disgusting like a smokers breath, I just feel devastated. I feel so let down I have given everything for my children (as you do). I mean everything, I can only work 2 days a weeks I know it sounds stupid but I have been holding out although I have been looking as I know it?s the only way she can get to dance straight after school when I am home as she only has another 2 years at school. Does she think I am just a nothing I cant believe she has risked all this. I know I have to stand by what I said a year ago I would have to contact her dance teacher and try and explain. I know I can?t just continue. I am absolutely devastated, my father inlaw died only 3 months ago from lung cancer and I just feel it is so thoughtless of her. My eldest DS her eldest brother has only just been diagnosed with IBD which we never knew much about but it is an awful thing to have so we are struggling and worried sick about him when he goes back to uni in a couple of weeks. The whole atmosphere in the house will be awful, but I feel I have no choice but to stand by what I said. She is still denying that she smokes although her breath smells disgusting I just feel like I cannot trust her at all, she is lying. She has had everything she has wanted all her life, don?t get me wrong we don?t have a lot of money myself and my husband have always come second for the children and done without; I am soooo disappointed.
She even went to a summer school in London 4 weeks ago at a London Dance school just to see if this is something she wants to do, we stayed in a travel lodge for a week, which I had to take a week off work for!
I am sorry to rant on, just wondered if anyone else had any experience of this or has any words of wisdom ☹