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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Can a parent stop child from seeing boyfriend?

4 replies

MatchstickMonster · 21/08/2013 23:15

Okay. I'm not a parent. I'm a sixteen year old girl who has a boyfriend. I have autism and depression and she does not understand my issues. He does.

She seems to have prejudged him based on stereotypes of teenage males. Very very horny, basically.

Now that's all good and well, but she isn't giving my boyfriend a proper say. We both have autism and major issues. The only reason we have been able to work so far is by extreme communication. We have already discussed it all. We are not stupid or irresponsible.

She seems like she wants to protect me from the "big bad wolf", which is understandable, I suppose, but in my opinion, unreasonable. Teen females are just as...sexed as teen males, it's just generally less socially acceptable to show such. In addition, we are reasonable. Worst case scenario is that boyfriend asks for sex/sexual activities. I say no. He says okay. That has happened in the past. I have not once felt pressured or forced into anything.

I understand her concern, but she's talking as though she expects all teen males to be so sex crazed they would take what they want, whether I will give it willingly or not.

He is going to discuss these opinions with her tomorrow. He will try to communicate that he respects me and is certainly not in it for sex(ual activities). After all, when we began this relationship, neither of us could even hug because of space issues.

He just wants to be judged for who he is, not who she expects, but my mum is quite closeminded. I fear she will react defensively. Does she have a right to stop me from seeing him if she has no valid reason?

OP posts:
HarlotOTara · 22/08/2013 07:28

How old is your boyfriend Matchstick?

MatchstickMonster · 22/08/2013 10:13

16, like me

OP posts:
secretscwirrels · 22/08/2013 16:07

MatchstickMonster you sound very sensible.
Your mum wants to protect you, perhaps if your boyfriend were to spend time at your house she could get to know him and keep an eye on you if she feels she must.
It's brave and mature of your boyfriend to talk to your mum and I hope you all can agree on a way forward.

stayathomegardener · 22/08/2013 16:29

Matchstick,you come over very eloquently in your post. Do you come across so well verbally?
If not I would suggest showing your Mum this thread or even printing off your original post as to me as a parent of a similar aged DD when presented with this I would have no choice but review my feelings.Good luck

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