How to tell dd that relative has come out

[bubsysmum]

Didn't know where to post this but wondered if anyone has any advice. DD is 16 and I have to tell her that a young member of our family has just announced to their parents that they are gay. Just don't know how to broach it and feel like such a twit! She might already know via social networking sites for all I know. Thanks

I think you're making it into done thing bigger than if is. I'd say, "Cousin Susan has told her parents that she's gay. It's great that she feels able to come out and know that no-one will bat an eye. Now, what do you want for tea?"

My DS is gay, and teens just accept it.

What Agent said, if indeed it needs broaching at all?

All of the teenagers I know are very accepting of different sexualities- way more so than they were when I was a teenager in the late 90's/early 00's. I think tv programs like hollyoaks and glee have helped with this. I expect she won't think of it as a big deal at all- just tell her in a matter of fact way, don't make a big thing of it. My cousin is gay and I've never found it has been as issue for me- when I found out I was very much: oh, ok then.

xpost!

Agree with AP.

Are she and the family member close, she might know already?

If so, you could say 'I heard that x came out' and leave it there for her to comment/reply/not.

Is it a cousin? She may already be aware. Just tell her like you would anything else.

Do you need to say it? Teenagers are brought up so differently and educated so broadly these days and in my experience they don't see anything at all to be embarrassed about never mind ashamed when someone comes out. If there's a conversation you could say x's boyfriend/girlfriend - you might be surprised at just getting OMG is x gay I had no idea - is he/she nice - what's for tea - sort of response.

Definitely keep this low key. She may already know, she may not - but just say it in a passing way, as in "oh X's parents told me that X has finally told them that X is gay" and leave it, no "value added" comment required. Let her react how she wants/needs to but try to have no judgement about it yourself, or let any show.

I think it's quite important to minimise it to an everyday thing if you can. You wouldn't want your daughter making a big deal out of it when she sees the relly. If I came out I would just want life to carry on as before, not like when you announce you're pregnant when all you want to do is talk about it all the time. Neither sympathy nor celebration is called for, just ok, there we are then, on we go.

My DDs (12&15) threw all the UKIP leaflets in the bin because they were anti gay marriage.

They said they thought people ought to be free to marry anyone they like. There is so much more openness around homosexuality it doesn't seem that strange to them.

My almost 12yr old wouldn't find this a big deal at all, never has.

I agree with AP and if she doesn't already know she isn't going to be phased.

At 16 insure she is already very aware of and not at all shocked by homosexuality. If this were a child under 10, I'd explain it to her. But she's not, either mention it in passing 'oh did you see on Facebook that Cousin is a lesbian?' Or just don't mention it at all.

Speaking as someone who has "come out" herself- my kids friends have always been totally fine with it. If anything it has turned me into the cool mum- a role I could do without really. It's not a big deal anymore