He is nearly 13 and I am at the end of my tether.
The whole family has been through a rough time in the last few years, culminating in CAMHS referrals for ds1 and 2 (12 and 10)
Both are very anxious, but ds2, although a loose cannon at times, is manageable and knows when he's gone too far.
Ds1 is a real problem at the moment. 90% of the time he is grumpy, belligerent, obnoxious, insolent, rude, disrespectful etc.
5% of the time he is lovely, the rest of the time just plain grumpy, but not as offensive as the rest of the time.
He winds us all up constantly. Will not go out with his friends, wont co-operate with anything without a battle first. He expects everything to be given to him without having to earn it.
Like I said, ds2 can (and does) behave badly, but knows when he's pushed me and backs down or takes himself off to calm down.
Ds1 pushes and pushes relentlessly. In my face, taunting me or whoever he's winding up at the time. I do occasionally lose it and lash out (sadly a trait passed down from my father), which I'm definitely not proud of and aim tackling this. (I hasten to add that I haven't hurt him, I'm not that out of control!)
Some days I fantasise about leaving so I can escape him. I don't want to lose ds2 or dh, but I just can't cope with ds1.
Other days, the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that in a few years he can leave home and life will hopefully get better.
His attitude towards school is shocking. He has friends but is unwilling to socialise.
We have regular family therapy sessions, which do make things seem more positive, although ds1 will come out and ridicule the whole thing. At the sessions, he puts on an act of being the sweetest, loveliest boy in the world, as he does in front of our friends and family, but usually switches as soon as he is just with us.
I'm not sure how much CAMHS can help, because of his attitude, but also because I don't feel I can say exactly how he behaves, and how it affects the family, in front of him. I think that could cause more issues than solve.
I feel so sad that I've lost my gorgeous little boy.:(
If dh behaved in any way like this, I would have left him a long time ago. I can't leave ds. Despite everything he is still my boy, and I have to cling onto the hope that somehow, magically, we can get through this.
I think I've really needed a rant about this. If anyone has any ideas how I tackle this, I'd be really grateful.