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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD & lack of friends

9 replies

Doilooklikeatourist · 03/08/2013 22:38

DD , has done her GCSE this summer , so finished school mid June .
She has no interests , has only 2 close friends . One of which has moved 25 miles away , the other has spent 2 weeks on holiday with another friend , back for a few days then off camping with her family for 3 weeks
DD has dance club 1 day a week , and apart from that spends all her time either watching TV or on twitter .
What can I do to help ?
We live in a rural area , she can't get anywhere unless we take her , I work PT , Dh full time , we have an older DS who can drive so could taxi her around , but he has his own interests .
Any ideas ? Please ?

OP posts:

racingheart · 03/08/2013 22:57

I know it's not easy these days, but is there any chance she could get a summer or party time job? She'd earn some money, come into contact with others and maybe make new friends. Are there playschemes that need helpers, even volunteers, or a local café that needs seasonal workers? Or anyone that needs some babysitting?

Are you anywhere near a swimming pool or gym she could join, to get her out of the house and get fit?

What is she doing next? If she's doing A levels/highers can you suggest she makes a start on reading around the subjects?

Are there any short residential summer camps for sport, music, drama etc that she could sign up for?
Or, if she likes dance, is she old enough now to go to some day time adult classes as well?

Original poster

Doilooklikeatourist · 03/08/2013 23:19

Thanks racingheart , she's not 16 yet , so no job ( none around here anyway )
I will try to get her to come to the pool with me , but she's not keen.

She will be going into 6th form , and will hopefully widen her social circle then .

Might try the baby sitting idea .

Thanks again

OP posts:

niceguy2 · 04/08/2013 07:43

Do any local colleges have National Citizen service programmes on?

My daughter is the same age and she only had a couple of school friends whom she rarely saw outside of school.

I encouraged her to go on this and it has changed her completely. She's made loads of new friends. got a new boyfriend who is actually a decent lad, not like the last moron. She's almost always out now but I'm happy whilst it's the summer hols.

It's a four week course, two weeks off which are residential. raft building, team work etc. A modern day duke of edinburgh.

The cost? £40! It's cheaper than feeding her! Only issue is it may be a bit late but worth asking. if not, there's always next year.

Original poster

Doilooklikeatourist · 04/08/2013 08:40

Thanks niceguy2
I'll have a look around .

OP posts:

febel · 04/08/2013 09:08

I feel for you as we are in a similar situation , but are not as rural as you. How about youth groups/scouts etc? Dif to go on your own, perhaps they would help ease her in if you phoned first?

Viking1 · 04/08/2013 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Doilooklikeatourist · 04/08/2013 15:39

Thanks for all the replies .
DD used to go to Guides , but stopped as it clashed with dancing , and has no interest in joining again .
The friend and her family have already gone camping , back late August .
They've planned a pre 6th form shopping trip , so she's got something to look forward to .
She and I have been shopping this morning , it's her birthday at the weekend and hopefully she can meet up with the friend who moved .

She's looking a bit happier today , and I'm feeling a bit happier too .
It's such a shame that there are so many other girls in the same situation .

OP posts:

twentyten · 04/08/2013 22:14

Could she do any voluntary stuff? Help in local library on children's reading scheme? Any other charities? Know anyone who could give her a bi tof work experience?

Could she do any art type projects- making cards etc? It's hard.

niceguy2 · 05/08/2013 07:08

It's much harder for girl's than boys since teenage girls are so cliquey and bitchy.

i've spent a bit of time with my DD talking about making a fresh start and reinventing herself a bit.

At school she boxed herself in with a couple of friends and they never mixed. This time I've encouraged her to talk to everyone and grab any/every social opportunity since everyone is new.

Time will tell if she does but she does recognize where she went wrong at school so I guess that's a start.

I remember my childhood was similar. I was unpopular and got bullied at school. life improved a lot when I hit sixth form when the idiots had left and I also knew more how to act with people.

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