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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Older teenage ds. Grrrrrr....

13 replies

orangeandemons · 01/08/2013 14:31

Ds is 19 and at uni. Lives in his home city but in shared house.

He has dyslexia, it transpires today, that the laptop which he was given as part of disable student allowance was stolen on Friday. It had all his revision notes on it for an exam he has next week which he was unable to take at the time. He hasn't even told the police... It was insured by the company who gave it him. He hasn't chased up the insurance the details were on laptop. I want to scream..

He is going to do it, when the whole house agree to reporting it to the police ( I want to scream even more as one is in Greece) however is main concern at the moment is his other computer which has packed up too. So his first priority is getting this repaired. I have just lost it and told him, no his first priority is getting laptop sorted.

Have been told to back off and chill. I want to scream and scream and scream like a toddler

OP posts:

dontputaringonit · 01/08/2013 14:36

Let him deal with it. Why all the screaming?

Original poster

orangeandemons · 01/08/2013 14:38

I'm not screamingbatbhim, it's internal screaming. Am not convinced he will deal with it. That means he's lost a laptop worth 1700, which may or may not be replaced.

OP posts:

SuperiorCat · 01/08/2013 14:39

I can see where you are coming from as presumably if he leaves it too long then he won't be able to make a claim and you'll be lumbered with the bill for a new one.

But I think you are going to have to chill and let him make his own mistakes sadly

Eyesunderarock · 01/08/2013 14:40

So, are organisational skills a co-morbid with the dyslexia?
How good is he at prioritising usually?
By posting in teens rather than SN, you are going to get a lot of advice that might not work if the response is linked to his SN.

dontputaringonit · 01/08/2013 14:41

He will learn, I promise! You can of course advise him but you'll only stress yourself out if you nag him. No harm in pouting out he may be left with no laptop and the expense of getting a new one though. But once you've said it once, leave it.

19 is old enough to do these things.

Eyesunderarock · 01/08/2013 14:41

DSA won't replace it unless he's gone through the hoops for reporting theft.

Floralnomad · 01/08/2013 14:44

Why is he waiting or everyone to agree to report it ,is there some question that someone in the house stole it ?

Original poster

orangeandemons · 01/08/2013 15:25

Depends on what he's prioritising. Organisational skills are usually ok, but he is just so laid back. This isn't about his dyslexia it is about him being a 19 year old with no sense of urgency. Anyway am having to back off, as he is giving me some shit about not being able to find insurance documents

OP posts:

Eyesunderarock · 01/08/2013 15:30

If it's not linked to his SN, then I agree with the others.
You can make the point, tell him the sequence of what needs to happen, but really it's his problem to solve, and to realise the consequences.

Original poster

orangeandemons · 01/08/2013 15:33

I know, but he is such a shilly shallying pain. I love him though

OP posts:

Eyesunderarock · 01/08/2013 15:40

livinginwonderland · 01/08/2013 18:22

You need to let him make his own mistakes - frustrating I know!

GemmaTeller · 01/08/2013 18:31

We had nearly the same.

DSD had laptop via the same dyslexia route (and not just any laptop, a Mac)

She casually said one day it was broken. After much questioning by her dad it transpires she has spilt something on it.

DH was livid.

Her reaction? 'for gods sake dad just chill'

I think they just don't get it about possessions.

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