Towards Independence

[doingthewashingup]

Do you think we are sabotaging our child's efforts at becoming independent? Is it easier/less stressful to continue doing everything for them well into their late teens?

It does them no good at all - they are quite capable and should be able to iron, cook etc.

Hello, I've strong views on this one :) I really think that by not showing children how to cook, clean, wash, iron, operate a bank account, shop etc. you are doing them a huge disservice. Both times my DC went to uni, there were young people there who had no idea how to cook or even use a washing machine. DS later went on the course when you had to take an ironing board with you (you would think this would be a clue!!) and there were some people who did not know how to iron a shirt. DS ending up showing quite a few people how to iron.

It is just the start of showing DC how the world works and how to live in it.

Not just their independence but their future relationships. I look at friends husbands who are incapable of cooking a meal or ironing a shirt and feel a certain amount of revulsion.

It is beyond me why any woman would get involved with SUV a man and I would have no respect for the mother of days man for cosseting him and not equipping him for life outside because surely she is expecting a nice young lady to come along and take over from her. .

I was going to say that if they are DSs your future DILs will not like you!
It will be very difficult to get a man to clean the bathroom if it is his mother's (i.e a woman's ) job.
It is lazy parenting- of course it is easier to do it yourself but it is much harder in the long run.

Who is "me" in this context? Are we talking about ourselves (your or me?), our dc's friends' parents, possibly mythical people we read about in the papers or other Mumsnetters?

Having a child with anxiety problems, I am well used to having therapists, psychologists, paeds etc telling me that I must be an overprotective mother who struggles with letting her children go. I don't think I am, I've always found that my dc have been among the first to be allowed to operate the kettle, travel into town unsupervised etc. But clearly these clever people have to know best.

Though I have to admit that I have not been great at modelling ironing skills- I think the last time a shirt got ironed in this house may have been in 2011.

My DSs solved the problem of ironing by thinking it completely unnecessary, so they wear them un ironed- their choice - they do at least know how to do it.