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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD cheated in GCSE exam

40 replies

Doinmummy · 24/06/2013 18:50

I have posted before about my troubled teen. I had a call from one of her teachers saying she has cheated in her French exam. This has caused my DD to kick off at home again. She's ripped her bedroom door off. I've had the police round today to take her to school as she's refusing to go.

I think she's taking drugs as her boyfriend was seen in my garden smoking something from a bottle.

She's been screaming and shouting at me as its all my fault.

I'm broken again.

OP posts:

MuchBrighterNow · 24/06/2013 21:05

It's most likely a bong if it was a plastic bottle. I think crack is smoked in pipes or coke cans.

I think the aggression comes from a deep down awareness that they are being are out of order. They feel guilty, so they hit out, and are furious that they aren't free to be autonomous and do exactly as they please. (at least this is how I think my teen feels)

threefeethighandrising · 24/06/2013 22:54

Crack is often smoked out of miniature alcohol bottles (like little brandy bottles, the ones which have just enough for one drink in them). They also use scourers (those ones which look kind of like wire wool) to burn the crack on in the bottle.

I grew up in an area where crack was rife, sadly, so have come across this (not done it myself, before you start to wonder!)

It could explain the agression, but then I was a really moody teen without the help of crack cocaine (as are many others) so not necessarily.

Original poster

Doinmummy · 25/06/2013 00:42

I've spoken to boyfriends mum and found out he is 18.5 not 17 as my DD told me. Also boyfriend has told his mum my DD is at college , she was horrified when I told her DD is only just 15. More lies

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HoveringKestrel · 25/06/2013 01:00

how is she doing in her other subjects? has the head teacher or somebody been in contact other than in French exam?

I will admit I didnt care much for French.

sashh · 25/06/2013 04:22

At least boyfriends mum seems supportive.

Does she know if her son is taking drugs? Maybe approach it as 'I'm suspecting my dd as taken something, have you noticed anything with your ds, if she has taken something I don't want her passing it on to your ds?'

Can you work together?

Oh and have a hug

Original poster

Doinmummy · 25/06/2013 15:28

I told the mum that her son was seen in my garden smoking something from a bottle. She will speak to her son about it. I doubt she'll get the truth though.

DD is not doing well in other subjects and has been very rude to teachers

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ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 25/06/2013 15:32

Have you spoken to MaryZ? She is very good with this kind of thing...

CinnamonAddict · 25/06/2013 15:38

The school HAS to report it. It will mean all her GCSE's are down the drain.

The teacher risks his job if he told you but not the exam board.
Why on earth was her phone not taken off her before the exam?

She is probably aggressive because she knows it's her fault. It is read out loud and clear before every exam that having a mobile phone on you is cheating and what the consequences are.

Original poster

Doinmummy · 25/06/2013 16:52

I have chatted to maryz before and she's been fantastic. It has all kicked off at home again so I have let myself into my friends house and am hiding here.

DD blocked the door and wouldn't even let me use the loo

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Original poster

Doinmummy · 25/06/2013 16:53

cinnamon it was a controlled assessment in the classroom

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ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 25/06/2013 17:17

I honestly don't know how you cope :( I wish there was something I could do or say to help - I feel hopelessly inadequate only sending a and a

LauraShigihara · 25/06/2013 17:25

Oh Doin I am so sorry. What a horrible time you are having. I have a difficult son and I know how awful it is when they are raging.

Original poster

Doinmummy · 25/06/2013 17:43

Thankyou all for your hugs. I did have a school / home liaison officer come round a few times to help me. Her advice was to smother DD with love and just walk away if she kicked off but it doesn't work like that.

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LauraShigihara · 25/06/2013 19:00

I tried that, on advice from a counsellor. My DS was even more certain that he was in charge of us all. And that all his demands should be met.

This best advice I ever got was on the challenging teens thread. Detach, pick your battles, take care of yourself, and call the police if you are physically under threat (although I had done the last one anyway). But I am sure you know all this already. I wish someone had sat me down and told me all this years ago, though. It would have stopped me banging my head against a metaphorical brick wall for so long.

Big hugs. I know how hard this all is for you and how awful it is to watch this person you love so much, behaving so stupidly .

Original poster

Doinmummy · 03/07/2013 19:58

Quick update. DD didn't go to school at all last week. She went in this Monday and Tuesday but didn't go in today.

We have been referred to an organisation called Family Solutions. I think it's quite new and replaces the CAF system. I'm waiting to see what they can offer us.

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