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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Things to do after year 11?

10 replies

DockLeaf · 23/06/2013 08:30

Son, aged 15, has finished doing his GCSEs over a week ago. He'll be going to college in September, but what to do in the meantime?

He has things to do: he is writing a book, diligently following the news (he wants to do government and politics for A-levels), learning German online, helping out in the house and with shopping etc., and playing computer games, and we go on walks and geocaching as a family.

The problem is, he doesn't have any friends that he sees outside school. No siblings either, so since he finished his exams he's only socialized with my partner and me. That's okay for a short period, but until September seems a bit too long to me.

He half-tried to find a job, or volunteer work, but he didn't succeed. I tried as well, but I couldn't find anything where they would take a 15 year old. I guess there must be things, but we cannot find them.
Youth clubs and things like that are not great either. We live pretty far SouthWest, and there just isn't that much here, certainly not for kids like my son. He doesn't like loud music or popular culture, and isn't good at or interested in sports or arts.

Any ideas? Especially volunteering would be good.

OP posts:
monikar · 23/06/2013 11:28

Does your local library do the summer reading activity? That is something he could get involved in.

notnowImreading · 23/06/2013 11:36

Vouchercloud and Dealcloud both have a significant reduction on the online version of a TEFL course - no requirement for any prior qualifications. It's about 140 hours and has to be completed within 3 months. He could do about 3 hours a day for 6 weeks and get a qualification that could take him around the world once his A-levels are done. It's only £49.

Chrissy60 · 23/06/2013 15:57

Hi Dockleaf, I also have a son who is in same position. My son also doesn't really see anyone from school now he has finished year 11. Also an only child. He doesn't seem to want to get out and do anything and talking about it only causes arguments. I have booked him on a weeks course in summer to do kayaking, but other than that he has nothing planned. For me it's a constant worry, and none of his friends from school ever seem to contact him to go out. He has arranged one trip to the pictures, but unless he puts himself out to do it no one else seems to bother. We are relatively new to this area and only lived here 3 years which is also an added factor. We live in south also, but if my son had more friends I'm sure he could have a fantastic summer but as it is, they never seem to include him very much or contact him, not sure why, but my son isnt really very outgoing and lacks self confidence , so this probably doesn't help. Whilst it's nice to know he is at least safe when at home, it would be nice to see him getting out there a bit more. It's hard to suggest anything, as if you are anything like me you will have already explored all avenues!
I'm sure they are not the only ones though, probably more common than you think. Anyway just wanted to let you know that you are not in your own. September will be here before we know it and for me it can't come soon enough!

BackforGood · 23/06/2013 17:30

Have you looked into The Challenge or National Citizenship Service ? Brilliant things for them - designed for after GCSEs. Not sure if too late to register now, but I don't think so.

secretscwirrels · 23/06/2013 18:18

Mine are both doing summer schools but you had to apply for them months ago.
It does sound as though he has lots of worthwhile stuff to do and he sounds happy? Is his school not local? Does he socialise with friends on line? Mine both play computer games and skype but because we live in a village they don't actually meet up with friends that often.
DS1 left year 11 last summer and he too failed to find a job. It was a long summer. My mother and I paid him to do a few DIY jobs, fence painting and the like.
Year 12 has finished now......

devientenigma · 24/06/2013 11:29

Hi, I'm also in a similar position with my daughter. She dropped all her friends for he bf 3 year ago, they have now split up and she has no one, hopefully a lesson learnt as she didn't listen at the time.
Anyway, not exactly an only child, however her brother is severly disabled and they are both chalk and cheese. He is also too challenging and complex for her alone. She does have a job, glass collecting in a club, she has done this for the last few year. And apart from 2 weeks in London with the national youth theatre, i'm thinking what a long boring time off. She is also going to college in September but doing a weeks summer school in July, so Iv'e told her to make friends whilst there.

devientenigma · 24/06/2013 11:35

BackforGood, I think the NCS link is what DD had to reschedule to autum due to the clash with NYT, it looks good, all I had before was an explanation from DD lol

Original poster
DockLeaf · 24/06/2013 14:17

Monikar I looked into the reading challenge now, thanks for the idea. My son did this at primary school, but there was no option for older kids. However, libraries seem to look for young volunteers for this. It's not clear if our local library does that too, but son is emailing them to find out.

notnowImreading I will certainly look into that cheap TEFL. If not for the boy, then for myself!

Chrissy60 we have lived here for 7 years now.
My son is fairly confident, but not always so much in social situations. He has three other boys that he gets along with in school. They attended the same after-school activity, but like with your boy none of them takes initiative in keeping in touch. My son does, but only if I pester him to do so. He does like doing things with those boys, but he finds it difficult to arrange things - and apparently the other boys do too.
He had a good friend previously but that boy moved to the other side of the country last year. They still have contact via email, so that is good., but it's at most once a month, so that is not so good.

Backforgood I had already looked into the NCS, but my son didn't like that idea, and I agree that it's probably not suitable for him. It's focused on physical activities and social group activities - like most things for teenagers - and that just is not his interest.
Now if they had a geek-version of this, for instance with playing and developing computer games and/or strategy games, having political and philosophical discussions, maths challenges, perhaps even some solitary sports like fencing or archery, and NO forced unstructured socializing or sleeping over, he'd be happy to go. Does anything like that exist? Grin

Secretscwirrels yes he is happy and has plenty of things to do. I don't think he'll get bored either - he is perfectly happy with his own company. But it's two and a half months and I reckon that during that time he should have at least SOME contact with people who are not his (step) parents.

devientenigma Oh dear... I hope your daughter will soon make new friends.

OP posts:
Isthiscorrect · 24/06/2013 17:52

Get ds to check out student room. They have a MUN section and also a whole debate politics etc section. hours of fun to be had if that floats his boat.

sashh · 25/06/2013 04:40

Can he attend a council meeting? I know that's not with other people his age but might be an interesting thing to do.

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