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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teens and Routines

10 replies

MurielHeslopp · 22/06/2013 17:30

Mine are not teens yet but my sister is having issues with getting her DD to do anything other than slouch on the sofa after school all evening, often not getting her homework done so thought I would get some advice from here.

Does your teen have a set routine when they come home from school?

Have you implemented it or have they?

Or do you allow them to do their own thing?

Thanks.

OP posts:

happygolucky0 · 22/06/2013 17:44

My ds is almost 16 now. He does his homework without me nagging now. It hasn't always been this way though. I have been though some tough times over the previous few years trying to get him to get his homework/room tidy/chores done. It seems to of paid off now as he is getting some pretty good marks in school at the moment.
I just use the money/lift bribe to get his rooms sorted!

chocoluvva · 22/06/2013 19:57

Sadly, no. Neither of them do.

Omg123 · 22/06/2013 21:33

Mine does the slouching on the sofa thing but gets her homework done. Sometimes she does leave it til the last minute though. I try to coax her out for a walk to the shops/round the block etc but apart from that she does pretty much naff all (much to my dismay)

madeofkent · 22/06/2013 22:34

I was a real tartar from when they were very young, I did not want to have to be a nag all evening and have it hanging over my head, I felt it wasn't fair to me and not good for them. So they had half an hour to slob when they got home (which was when I was cooking) then straight after tea, or Neighbours in my daughter's case, they had to do homework on the dining room table and I had to sign their planners afterwards. Then we all knew that the rest of our evening was free. My son had his last exam yesterday and I had no problems with getting him to revise, or my daughter, the discipline/routine was already there. Much to my relief.

There were always off days, they weren't perfect. But as they weren't allowed tvs or computers in their rooms the threat of not being allowed to use either those or indeed any other gaming system or whatever until they had finished worked pretty well, no bribes were ever used. Just the threat of boredom.

Original poster

MurielHeslopp · 23/06/2013 09:37

Thanks for the replies. She hasn't allowed tvs or laptops in their rooms or I expect her DD would be up there all evening! .

Her DD is at a very eye-rolly, huffy stage at the moment so do you have any idea of the best way to set something in place?
Do you think my sister could try and allow her DD to come up with some sort of routine herself so she feels in control or do you think this will only produce further eye-rolling?

OP posts:

Madamecastafiore · 23/06/2013 09:42

No TV or games or iPod etc until homework is completed in this house. I am the boss and I couldn't give a flying whatsit if you went and rolled your eyes all the way out of your pretty little head.

chocoluvva · 23/06/2013 10:02

She could perhaps check on the time they actually go to sleep....

I didn't realise how long my DD used to lie in bed texting before she went to sleep - she must have been exhausted by 6pm. That and teenage melatonin-production times changing has a LOT to answer for.

TeenAndTween · 23/06/2013 16:43

Rough routine for DD1, 14 y9:
walk home from school
change snack
homework until evening meal
pack bag for school
TV/computer until bedtime (max 2 hours)
Up for bed, no electronics
1 hour later light out

phone downstairs overnight

bigTillyMint · 23/06/2013 17:30

Hmmm, ours were already in a bit of a homework routine from Primary which made it a tad easier.

DSY7 comes home and does his homework just about straight away after a snack/dinner, although this may be after he has hung out with his mates for an hour or two! Then he watches TV till 8.30ish then shower, phone left downstairs and bed around 9-9.15.

DDY9 gets a snack and disappears into the black hole her room, only coming out for dinner, during which time she completes homework/watches You-tube and catch-up/FB's/BBM's and eventually lights out around 10.

BackforGood · 23/06/2013 17:35

It's only since ds hit the 6th form that he has started to come in and actually start work - we've had battles for years.
dd is more "I'll do this to get it out of the way" way of thinking, so does go straight up to her room usually (but she does have her laptop there).

I think it depends on the person - dh and I differ like this. I don't sit down until I've done everything that I've got to do that evening or I'd never get up again but dh likes to sit and watch the news or something, almost a a sort of 'transition time' between work and home. Horses for courses and all that.

That said, with teens, I think it helps if you make it clear that there are x hours between school and bed, and you need to see that {whatever} % of that is spent on school work, if they want you to..... {insert whatever it is you do for them, in terms of paying for things, or driving them to things}.

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