14 year old daughter shopping dilemma

[Mohatt1234]

Hi, basically my 14 yr old daughter is going on a week long trip to Spain with school in a couple of weeks. Fab - lucky kid, she is so excited!

But before she goes she wants to catch the train to Manchester (we live in rural Cheshire) with her pals to go clothes shopping. She has never been on public transport without a parent to supervise before. Usually myself or another mum is around nearby while the girls shop in the Trafford centre or the town. Apparently I am the only mum who has reservations, but I think 14 (yr 9) is too young to be hanging around the city centre without supervision, especially making their own way there and back.

Any advice or opinions would be gratefully received as at the moment I am the worlds worst mum.

Thanks

So long as they follow some basic rules this is a great opportunity for her. I think she?s about the right age for a first trip to town with pals. My DS has bussed into town with friends to potter round the shops for an afternoon, and made his first day trip by train to a nearby city with a friend on public transport at age 14, not for shopping but for a daytime event. (The friend is very sensible and mature for age so DS being a bit impractical and nervous didn?t matter!) They were fine.

They should each have some money to spend on shopping and food, and some idea of what they want/need for the trip. Go through the safety rules with your DD: the girls should stay together, as a group, and they should not go off with anyone they meet. No silly behaviour (like shoplifting!) Make sure she has a mobile phone charged up and with funds. Agree a time when they have to be back, and perhaps a time to call or text you during the day. For a first trip you could insist they plan which train they?re getting back, so you know when to expect them (and pick them up from the station, which they?ll probably appreciate!)

I know, you?ll be biting your nails til they get back! I was the first time DS did it. But it gets easier, as they show they can cope.

14 is more than old enough for the trip you describe. She can always phone you if they have any problems. It's not like the pre-mobile phone days when you were on your own if things went wrong.
Give her the chance to extend her wings!

If you are worried, could you offer them transport one way?

Having taken the train into Mancs from Cheshire just a few weeks ago, I can't see any problem with 14year olds going in and shopping on their own.

We live in London and DD and her mates first went up to Oxford St when she was 12. Whilst I was a little nervous and may have text her a few times, she was fine and came back with stories of how they had been to ChinaTown and Covent Garden as Oxford St was horribly busy

Does she walk to school/get taken? The DC have to bus-hop the 3miles to their school and I think that makes us all more relaxed with them travelling about.

If not 14 then when?

It sounds fine to me, make sure she has her phone, that its charged and that she has minutes. With google maps and train and bus times online its far easier than when we were kids!

14 is quite old enough to get a train with your mates and go shopping.

My DD1 started to catch the train from bucolic Middle England to Birmingham in year 9. She and her friends are pretty steady and it's always gone smoothly, they've come back on the scheduled train and not given any cause for parental anxiety.

When I was 13 (so 11 years ago), I was a school trip to Paris and a bunch of us got separated from the group near the moulin Rouge- pretty seedy area, lots of sex shops. Anyway, after a bit of pottering about and a few wrong turns we found the rest of the trip without incident or panic attacks.

It's better that your DD and her mates get left to their own devices in a town that they're familiar with before they start traipsing around Spain. Even getting the bus a few times on their own will give them so much more confidence with dealing with anything like that above.

It's fine.
Establish rules about keeping in touch, make sure she's got enough money to get there and back, including emergency not for spending money and that she's got numbers memorised or written down in case she loses her phone. I also make sure I've got dds friends' numbers too.

Cotton Wool OFF.

Honestly, I would let my 14-year-old do this without hesitation, subject to the usual sensible warnings.

I can understand why you have reservations but I think she'll be fine . I grew up in Manchester and me and my friends started shopping in town unsupervised around 12yrs - although this is going back a bit! I think the City Centre is quite manageable - not too many seedy/ rough areas in town anymore and fairly easy to find your way around.

As long as staying in a group I'd be fine

My 12yo does this and has been doing since she was 11yo. She has a fab time with her friends and comes back with bags of Primark stuff, tat from Claire's.

I think the worse thing they've ever done is try a load of clothes on in debenhams which they couldn't afford. That and get the sales assistant in Lush to demo loads of stuff. Saying that I think the Lush assistants would be up for it.

Id be more worried if a 14 year old wasn't capable of going into town unsupervised.

All sensible stuff from other posters. My eldest is just 13 but she has been on shopping trips with pals for 18 months now. She is however pretty sensible and practical, and we always have a discussion first - times, shops, route home. Always cash, with a limit, and never credit cards. I agree wholeheartedly with VivaLeBeaver - Primark & Claire's. Get worried if she focuses on Monsoon or Next ... (pricey habit)!

Yes she should be allowed to go.

If they all have fully charged mobiles they will be fine.