my fifteen year old daughter is depressed constantly very tearfull and anxious

[janelewes]

Hi mums,
Feel out of my depth here and could use some support. My dd is 15 and feels very low, for the last month she has started getting very tearful and anxious, her friends have backed away from her, which is very upsetting, she has become withdrawn and difficult to talk to.She will not see school Councillor even though it has been offered. Also has lost confidence in her self and feels she is not good at anything. It is very hard to support her , she is attending school. At meal times she often struggles to eat . I literally am so worried .I have inquired about a local therapist not in school and she agrees to this. But whilst we wait for appointment have any of you been through this or have any advice for me supporting her through this ? At mo am just giving gentle encouragement to carry with school and athletics. Janelewes

Yes, exercise is very important. Could she join a sports club outside school where she could make new friends? What about venture scouts or something where you don't have to be 'good' at anything as such.

Have you seen the GP? I'm not sure what age they might consider anti-depressants, but I think they saved me when I was a teen.

Thanks Schobe, for your thoughtful response, she is a member of athletics club and goes twice a week, GP referred to CAMHS but they refused her as obviously got more to prioritize more needy children, and they said she should see school counselor, which she feels unable to do.
Bless you and thanks

Jane Oh dear, you sound so worried. My DD is 17 and I noticed that towards the end of secondary school there was a lot of change in friendship groups and a lot of falling out amongst them. It is a time of enormous change for them as many of them think they are very grown-up, plus they all have the pressure of schoolwork and exams.

I'm sorry your referral to CAMHS was not helpful. I can understand why your DD is reluctant to speak to the school counsellor as they may be a bit too close to the problem. A local therapist sounds better as then your DD can be more anonymous.

Would your DD consider helping out at a Brownie pack or something similar? When my DD was 14 she helped out at a summer camp connected with our church and it really helped her. The younger children loved the fact that she would help them in their games and activities. Again, it is not something you have to be 'good' at.

You sound very caring and concerned and are taking every step to help your DD. My DD often tells me about various problems her friends are having and many of them are unable to confide in their parents which is so sad.

Good luck, I hope that helps a little.

Thank you monikar,
that is kind of you to respond, I am heartened that you say there was a lot of change in friendship groups, it is really good to have mumsnet, as I am no longer in the playground to ask other mums now.

So thanks again, DD slightly brighter today after going to her Saturday job x. Its hard to back off and stop asking" if she is ok??" , I know it annoys her and possibly doesn't help, and possibly taking her mind of it by distraction is more usefull, Big thankyou mums , virtual tea and cupcakes to you all xx

janelewes. Agree with all the advice given above. Could she also be suffering from uneven hormones? I have had this problem all my life and it can make you feel very anxious and depressed. Are her periods regular and does she get worse when they are due? Worth thinking about and/or investigating with the GP. It takes some years sometimes for some people's periods to settle down. Just a thought.

Thank you mindfulmum, and whitecloud
good point, my DD has seen how worried I am and it must make things seem worse. I am gonna try and be calm, your advice is incredible and a gentle approach is the road I will take. The clinic recommended by our GP is proper psychologists , and she is reluctant to go , . She finds it hard to sleep , always has done. Bless the little pickle.
I think the point about hormones is also a good one, I will try and talk about this , bless you xx
THankyou MUMSNet, you are the best