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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

under18's night club nights,any experience??

23 replies

brimfull · 26/05/2006 19:52

dd trying to persuade us to let her go.We've said no .Is it strictly no alcohol? What about drugs?
She's sensible and has never been before,she's 14.God I hate all this growing up lark!

OP posts:

sallystrawberry · 26/05/2006 19:54

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SenoraPostrophe · 26/05/2006 19:56

why have you said no? they don't sell alcohol, but presumably some kids sneak some in. HOWEVER they could be going to the park to drink. I don't quite understand why you don't like the idea.

MerlinsBeard · 26/05/2006 19:56

i went to a few. No alcohol served but we used to take it in in tango bottles . Felt really grown up to be in a night club under age (even if it was under age night IYSWIM)

You could ring up the venue and aske them their policies

Original poster

brimfull · 26/05/2006 19:57

that's the problem it's not her usual group of friends who I trust .There is a new girl on the scene who she's talked about a few times but I've never met.
My instinct is to say no,but I don't know if I being unreasonable or not,she assures me there would be no trounle,she's very sensible .But it's not her I worry about it's others that I don't know and trust.

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zippitippitoes · 26/05/2006 19:57

My kids or rather the girls went to them..if it's a proper night club venue in my experience they are quite well policed..if it's in a social club, or hall more likely to be problems.

Try to get them to get ready at your house so that you can see there is no drinking beforehand. Make it clear that they are to stay together with friends and not wander off with blokes. Tell her if it goes well this time then she will be able to go again.

Pick her up at a specific time at the end, preferably before it finishes as it will be heaving with cars.

flutterbee · 26/05/2006 19:58

DS isn't old enought for these yet (6months) however a friend of mine has a couple of teenage daughters who do go to these everytime they are on and thinks there is nothing wrong with them (even though they have both come in drunk from them before)

If it was up to me I would have to say no, the girls seem to dress in next to nothing and older boys are always hanging around outside the club I have driven past a few of them whilst the kids were queing up to go inside and if I didn't know any better I would have thought I had stumbbled across the red light district. They also seem to drink whilst waiting in line and as ss said they can do drugs anywhere.

sallystrawberry · 26/05/2006 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoraPostrophe · 26/05/2006 19:58

I think if you say no to this you're more likely to get other (maybe worse) problems. I used to go to pubs at that age.

sallystrawberry · 26/05/2006 20:00

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sallystrawberry · 26/05/2006 20:03

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Original poster

brimfull · 26/05/2006 20:05

she's never had alcohol before,except the odd glass of something bubbly at home.Believe me she's unusually prim about it.She doesn't go out at night except to sleepovers/birthday discos very occassionally .She is full of tales about some girls who drink regularly and tell her she's weird for choosing not to.She's absolutely disgusted by some girls behaviour ,it ,makes me laugh as I used to be awful at her age!

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 26/05/2006 20:11

I would let her go..but don't rely too much on the prim bit..I had a Francie doll for my 14th birthday (I asked for it ..it was Barbie's sister or cousin or something)but I changed overnight to hippy slacker

quanglewangle · 27/05/2006 00:47

She'll probably be amongst the oldest ones there. Ime 16's (and some 15's) and older wouldn't be seen dead at an under 18's do - they'll be pretending to be cool elsewhere with the over 18's.
In other words, it probably won't be all that bad and she may not want to go again.

She'll be down the pub instead

jampots · 27/05/2006 00:50

how old is dd ggirl? My 13yo has asked to go a couple of times to one in Birmingham City Centre but Ive said no for various reasons:

From what I can gather I wouldnt be able to drop her right outside

Dont like the idea of her mixing with older lads at her young tender age

I would end up being the taxi for all her friends who all reckon they're able to go but none ever seem to. I think their parents are waiting for me to say yes so they can all put on me :)

I hate Birmingham City Centre

Original poster

brimfull · 27/05/2006 01:33

She's 14 jampots,in yr 9.The website for the nightclub says it's for 15-17 yr olds so I'm going to say no.
Tbh she's pushed it a bit too far tonight with her attitude and other things so until she improves her attitude I'm sticking to my guns on this one.
I may seem like a boring old fart who's asking for my dd to rebel and become a drunken tart but that's my answer .She came back from babysitting tonight and didn't mention it so she may have given up.

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koshka1984 · 27/05/2006 02:19

i worked at a nightclub that did under 18 nights in my town, and they search them for alcohol!
Also, for some reason (purely cosmetic) they also ban cigarettes and chewing gum!

winnie · 27/05/2006 08:18

Ggirl, when your dd is old enough (and not pushing her luck :) ) I would let her go. I wish there was somewhere for teenagers to go to around us. Dd just ends up hanging around the streets & park with her friends. Quite honestly I have begun to think it was better when I was her age (16) and could get into pubs (shock) (sad) At least that was a more controlled environment. Young people have so few places to go. I keep thinking about trying to raise the funding to open a community cafe for young people for the evenings but ...
Good luck ggirl

Munz · 27/05/2006 08:58

I went to some, we were allowed to catch the train down for 7pm but had mum/dad (dad trying to force his way into the club) pick us up at 11pm to make sure we were ok - a lot of parents seemed to do that. the mum's all stood over the other side of the road/ in the car - dad however was sooo embaressing.

as memory serves me right there was def no alchol in ours, they had bouncers on the door just incase - for the older kids I suppose, it was a good night the lights went up at 11pm and everyone had to leave (i'm assuming they did a check b4 it reopened for the adults) I must have been 15 I think maybe 14 but we were always picked up by a parent (they normally took a turn each) and I wasn't allowed to go unless there was a few of us. (mum normally rang my mate's mum as well to make sure she could get us if mum wasn't coming down)

if you do let her go, remember to tell her buy her own drinks only, and if she goes to the loo and leaves the drink to get a fresh one even if it's only had a few sips out of it - best be safe I always feel on that front no matter how old.

Munz · 27/05/2006 09:02

ooh should also add we're from a small town whre everyone know's each other, and dad was strict on what I could wear - no short skirts/not too much make up etc. and ours were only on once a month.

hulababy · 27/05/2006 09:34

I used to go to this a bit too from about 14 I think. There was no alcoholserved, and there wasn't really a lot of it about either, and it was pretty strict policies. Everyone was checked by the bouncers on entry. A fair few years ago now though. TBH the eldest people there were about 16 - by 17 they had generally moved onto the proper nights. My dad or a friend's dad used to pick us up afterwards.

Marne · 27/05/2006 09:40

I used to go to one, there used to be alot of lads there that were over 18 but no alcohol and no sign of drugs, seemed very safe and a bit more like a youth club than a night club.

shewhoneverdusts · 27/05/2006 10:06

we have one here in southampton and my dd will be old enough the day before the next one!! she has decided not to go because there are always fights there and she has been told she will "get her head kicked in for being ginger". Thanks to whoever said that, I now don't have to worry for a while!

Original poster

brimfull · 27/05/2006 17:52

thanks for all those replies.

She hasn't spoken about it today,and she was suspiciously nice to her younger brother this morning so I'm keeping quiet about it.Your experiences have reassured me that I probably wouldn't be sending her into a den of debauchery

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