Teenager refusing to find a part time job

[Magicmayhem]

My DD is nearly 17, she is one of the youngest in her school year.
She has just finished her first year of AS, and has finished all her exams, she starts back at 6 form in 2 weeks when all the exams are over to start her A2 year. (hope I've got that right)

Now my DD thinks she is very entitled and does nothing around the house, but expects me to just give her money... I do give her a list of jobs to do arround the house, but inevitably she 'forgets' or 'runs out of time'... but thats probably because she doesn't get up till lunch time

At the moment, her days consist of lazing around all day eating and drinking all the food in the house a bit like the tiger that came to tea, and leaving all the washing up in the sink and food on the sides... We have another two weeks of this untill she goes back to 6 form, and as she is only doing 3 subjects she does have a lot of free time... We have talked about her getting a part time job, and have even helped her do a CV, but, every job that is going she says she doesn't want to work there, or the pays crap... etc etc...

Most of her friends have jobs, and there are even jobs going where they are working but she still insists that she doesn't want to work there...

So basically... I need to do tough love... has anyone else stopped their childs pocket money, and mobile phone till they've got theirselves a job... did it work? or is there another way...

please share your positive stories of

I don't expect my ds's to work outside the home whilst they are at school but I do expect help with housework/childcare (for little brother). Ds2 (almost 16) now has a paper round. I would stop pocket money if she doesn't pull her weight.

my dd is 16 in september doing gcse at the moment finishes school next may.she does nothing around the house when asked its a real effort.while she is lying in bed at weekends,playing x box,doing what she wants we are working.we are having some problems with dd everyone tells me its normal.i pay for her phone,x box and extra for usage of internet for her x box.well its stopping,i have done a list of jobs with a price list.if she does not do the jobs then i dont pay for phone etc.hope this helps? i will let her know this when she gets in from school,wish me luck?

Dd has just realised she is too late for trying to get paid work for post-GCSE period so has been down to see local voluntary services about getting voluntary work.

I told her it was a choice between that and acting as my housekeeper as I am not well and could do with some help.

I am not fussed about whether she is earning or not atm; by the time she leaves home she will have spent that money anyway; I just want her to keep busy

have been speaking to one of my friends(headmaster of a school)he gave me some great advice,its not about the money its life skills.my friend,until he left home didnt even know about the price of tooth paste.at the age of 49 he still is cross with his parents.he has done very well for himself because of his parents and his hard work but like he said he found it such hard work for a few years coping on his own. we can have all the money and love but our darling children must have life skills.how much tooth paste is????????????

expects me to just give her money

So stop giving it to her unless she has earned it.

I never had a job until the summer after my 2nd year at uni. I tried the previous summer but looking back I didn't really know how to go about it so not surprised I didn't get anything!

I very much wish I had worked from age 16 as a) it's all experience b) when I finally did get s job it did wonders for my confidence and c) independence from relying on Kim and dad (I got ema at 6th form and child support from dad while st uni)

While it's a nice idea not having to work while at school and uni, I think kids who do this will struggle to get a job. I don't care if you got a first from Oxbridge, if you haven't ever worked, your cv will likely go in the bin!

Could you set your daughter a target time frame? So, find a job - or at least make a real effort to - by X date or the pocket money will stop. A few months would be realistic. She'll need to change her crappy attitude though - surely minimum wage is better than what she's getting now?

I used to lay around in bed all day if I could get away with it but I couldn't most days as I had my first job at 15. All of those jobs taught me a lot and didn't hinder my school work. There are kids studying, working and caring who do it and do it well.

When i was growing up it was always expected that you would start working at 16, and that was that! I got a job in retail the month after my birthday. If i hadnt i wouldn't have had any money! All my friends were exactly the same and it would be unthinkable for someone at 6th form not to work. It is not just a case of parents not having to buy your things, but also teaching skills such as punctuality, having motivation etc.
my parents were luckily reasonably well off and would have bought me anything i NEEDED, but they werent prepared to pay for my social life/make up/magazines, therefore if i wanted those things i had to work. I remember being so proud of myself when i got my first wage, then immediately blowing it on a pair of ghds and my first designer make up. I was skint for the rest of the month (lesson learned) but also proud that i had bought them myself.

My ds is about the same age as your dd. I've never paid for his phone. We do give them a small amount of pocket money, but fixed at a level that it encourages them to go out and work.
I think the 'doing stuff around the home' bit is slightly separate - it is just second nature if they've always had to do stuff although still takes nagging but it would be very different if this is a new expectation I'd have thought.
I've never nagged mine to get a job, but it's always been clear that, whereas we will pay for 'needs', everyone has to earn their 'wants'.

Just stop their money and refuse to pay for luxuries and only buy basics for things they need like deodorant, shower gel etc.

Why allow your children to get away with this?

You are fostering their sense of entitlement.

My 2 are 8 and 12. They get 20 pounds a month each with which to buy wants. I buy needs but not wants. To get this 20 pounds. DS empties dishwasher each day and DD walks dog. They both already talk about when they get a proper job how much more they will earn and what they will save for and buy. They also ask for extra jobs if they are saving for something.

Come on all of you. This isn't being mean or nasty it is teaching your child that they have to work for what they want and eventually what they need.

DD has always had pocket money on the understanding that she does specific weekly jobs in the house. However, like most teenagers, she doesn't do anymore than the specified jobs, of her own free will.

When she was 17 she got a retail job and started saving for car insurance (she started lessons then too). She passed her test after 3 months, by which time she had enough for her insurance. She is now just completing A2's and has had her job for 18 months. She has worked all weekend, every week for all this time (with the exception of holidays). She pays for all of her own wants and whilst we maintain her car, she continues to save for insurance and pay her own petrol.

She attempted to hand her notice in yesterday as she would like to enjoy the summer weekends before starting Uni (she has saved enough to tide her over), but they refused to accept her notice and agreed to giving her the weekends off and her working two evenings in the week instead (and the boss is no pushover!). They said they would rather do this than lose her before she goes to Uni!! Proud mummy right here . Apart from all of the valuable life lessons she has learned, I can't imagine the glowing reference she is going to get when she finally does leave, which will all look great on her CV.

Imo, where possible, teenagers should get jobs!