DD's boyfriend's FC's coming today

[CouthyMow]

To chat to me. DD wants to go on a mixed sex sleepover there. I want to chat to them first to reassure myself that girls and boys will sleep separate.

DD is 15, her boyfriend is 14.

I'm nervous!

God knows why, I'm a grown-up now FGS, ish, but it feels like meeting my OWN boyfriend's parents for the first time!

DD is my eldest, and I had her when I was just 16, so this is all new territory for me.

Thankfully DD is very open with me, and chats to me about anything, so I know she's currently 'ok' IYKWIM.

Aaarrgghh!

They don't half put you through it do they? My (then 15) DD went on and on about how nervous her BF was about meeting us. I didn't like to tell her I'd be more shy than he would be! I know how you feel. They ask a lot from us - we're meant to open our homes to the new BF or GF, putting up with all their foibles while claiming saying they're 'lovely' knowing it's unlikely to last long anyway.

Not long after the supposedly nervous BF broke up with my DD, she brought a gigantic guy back unannounced one evening, so we dropped everything to chat to him over a cuppa, he nearly gave me a heart attack by explaining he'd come in to "ask us something" (if he could take her out in his car). Four months later they've fallen out, with her declaring it doesn't matter as they have nothing in common and she's unlikely to ever bump into him again.

The point I'm trying to make is to try not to get het up about BF/GFs (easier said than done) as it doesn't USUALLY last. A word of caution too - I'm sorry if this is irrelevant - if you give your DD the impression that you're taking her relationships very seriously she's more likely to put undue importance on going out with boys to the possible detriment of other important areas of her life.

It's all new territory for all parents and you don't need to feel you need to impress this lad's FCs.

I sympathise though - so much easier when they were little.

Ah, I don't think she is getting that impression. She wouldn't be looking up from her phone for long enough!

Nah, it's just my nervousness IYSWIM. And as DS3 is napping, I'm hiding in the kitchen MN'ing.

What's an FC?

As they're willing to come over and chat about this, it sounds as if they're nice. And if they've any sense they'll think the same about you.

I'd say you are really lucky that she and he are thoughtful enough to do this for you. One of the things I find hard about the girlfriend thing is that you rarely get communication with the parents. It's somehow different to parents of friends.
When DS had a serious GF I had very few conversations with her parents. Mum was ok but dad seemed to bristle, I could almost feel his imagination working overtime about my son and his darling daughter.

FC = Foster Carer.

I would say the fact that they are keen to come over and chat to you is a very good sign. I have very little communication with DD17's bf parents. On the rare occasion we do have to chat, I feel there is a huge elephant in the room and we end up talking about the weather or the traffic. It just feels awkward and they don't appear very relaxed either. It does feel very different from chatting to parents of friends - I have had years to practise that.

Thank you couthy