Relationship with daughter broken down and I need some advice

[flowercloud]

I've had to separate from my husband recently and this has caused huge problems with the relationship with my two daughters. Can anyone give me some advice please, it's really unbearable.
(Secondhandrose, if you're still out there, thanks for the tip to start a new thread, I'm brand new at this).

Were there problems in your home that you and your DDs weren't able to talk about before you and their dad separated? Are there unresolved issues? Anger? Resentment or lack of understanding of how the separation came about? Have the DDs moved to a new house or flat as a result of the separation? Is there less money? Are they worried about the future, about affording university, about being ostracised by friends, do they feel isolated now?

How old are the girls? Is this also partly due to their hormones / natural "I hate you" phase, exacerbated by grief/anger/hostility at the breakdown of your marriage?

My father's second marriage broke down when my half-sisters were about 16 and 14. 16 year old wouldn't speak to her mum for about a year as she blamed her - actually, I don't think she spoke to either of them properly again for about 3 years. But boom, back into her 20s, everything is normal(ish) and she's embraced new step-dad/step-siblings as part of her own.

Don't know if this helps, but I think it might be something which older teenage girls go through: blaming one parent over the other until everything settles down.

PS - how are YOU? Can't be easy.

Hello coatonarack, Is what I post here available for all to see? I'm new at this and can't seem to find out....I don't want lots of personal information out there on the site but could do with following up yours and a few others replies to get some advice....Thank you.

Hi OP, we ask for specifics when someone asks for practical support/ suggestions because its easier to offer specific advice. Yes, the site is public, however, you don't need to go into too much detail (the kind of information that could 'out' you in real life) and never use names. Keep posts as detailed without too much detail if possible IYSWIM?