teenagers on drugs

[Gonegrey]

my teen is using drugs how can i find out reason

Gonegrey: how is it going??

Superg4: I'm sorry I don't really know what to suggest. I partly think you might have to accept the fact that maybe nothing you can say will have any effect (awful to accept, I imagine).... If it were me, i would be blunt in talking about all the people I know who messed their lives up specifically on marijuana... because it does rob you of ambition and it can promote paranoia (even the biggest fans of MJ usually admit to that one). There are a lot of other anti-pot arguments that I don't really believe in, like it's hard to say how "addictive" it is or how damaging it is to health... but there are a lot of people like me who tried it for a while and then never did it again. We just found that it wasn't a very nice way to live. I wonder if you use that argument, "Is smoking pot consistent with what you want to get out of life?" would work with some teens (probably wouldn't work with Gonegrey's son who feels very down on life in general, though).

I am currently researching for a magazine article on body piercing but in relation to teenagers (and even younger). Is it good or bad? (My kids are still under 6.) What is an acceptable age and what is acceptable? Although I can imagine some can be hidden(Belly button and boobs.) Have any of you experienced kids with infections resulting from bad piercings? Your thoughts and experiences appreciated.Thanks

Hi Gonegrey- hope you have found a resolution I would start by saying IME but all cases are different and there is not enough info to be certain but if there is violence it is highly likely either for attention or maybe peer presure to buy the drugs. If he is being open with you then this is a good sign as communication is open. For your own peace of mind find out as much as possible about drugs and then speek knowledgable about them to your son in a non judgmental way and help him find something else to be positive about

I thought I had the drug thing sorted. I tried most things then grew out of it. Much later had children. Said, it's illegal and there's no quality control, accidents happen etc. etc. Everything fine and then last night eldest steps (24...)came home. Flat mate ODd and steps found him. At least my boy came home.

Last night two cab drivers & I were delivered (over 15 minute period) death threats & verbal abuse with gestures 'bang-bang' by a teenager who insisted he was a cokehead and wanted as much as he could get. Assuming he was a pathetic kid who had lost his way and ignoring the abuse, I attempted to reason with him to see that his abuse is useless and plainly morally wrong. That got me nowhere except more abuse.

I live in a London 'suburb' 30 mins away, and can't believe the number of violent, destructive kids I've come accross since my time living here (almost 2 yrs). I grew up in a similar NYC suburbian town and can say that this behavior would never be accepted where I'm from. Forget druggies, the kids who smoked cigarettes were labled 'druggies or blackies'. Maybe I led a sheltered life but the kid who threatened me would have been taken in by the police no questions.

The tolerant 'oh their just teenagers I was like that too and turned out ok' attitude by parents is what allows this antisocial behavior to perpetuate. Parents obviously just don't care about the psychological harm (being violated morally and sometimes physically & financially via theft & vandalism ) that their kids are inflicting upon others.

While I love living in this country, should I have kids oneday I have to say that I'd move back to the US for their social education (after the age of 6 or so) unless someone here would do me the honor of presenting me with a 'village' where its youth take pride in its maintainance and which is free of crime (0% murder, .01% theft, 0% grafitti etc.

By the way I have a solution for graffiti artists - community service cleaning up grafitti or JV (Juvenile detention center/military school) with a long program of moral reprogramming & 0% access to alcohol.

Thank you for listening

Yup, I think you're sheltered. I grew up in California where we were dropping acid and admiring drug dealers when I was 12yo (this is 1980). Last night, my brother was telling me about getting stoned before listening to the Van Halen brothers do a gig in their Pasadena garage, in about 1973 (shortly before VH's turned famous). Not saying that to glamourise drugs, though, drugs really messed up my brothers' life and he couldn't be more ashamed about it. Quite messed up Eddie Van Halen's life too, if I recall right.

Whereas DH, UK-born in 1974, got to his early 20s without knowing that cannabis and marijuana were the same thing!

Never taken any drugs and only tried a cigarette once and never been drunk. I did go to nightclubs at 14/15 where presumably I could have done all three but I never felt the urge to do any of it. My dd is going to secondary school in Sept and whilst she's a lot like I was at her age I am aware that drugs are more freely available and it scares the hell out of me!!!

Grumpy Zebra,

Umm if you were ADMIRING drug dealers at the age of 12, you either:

a) Had very poor role models/moral teachers as
parents

b) Lived in a very poor/very rich, or 'high risk'
area as a kid

Either way, I belive that your experience was and still is hopefully the exception and not the rule, and that behavior is neither acceptable nor admirable. Then again, I grew up in the 80's with Nancy Regan's Just Say No to drugs campaign etc. It was sooo UNCOOL and LOSER like for a kid to find out that another kid was even interested in such a thing.

If this is sheltered, well then ask how many parents on this website would give anything to have their own kids brought up to be just as 'sheltered', possessing a strong moral fiber...

Then again, I restate my point that it is a Parent's loose attitude in such matters that lead
towards their kids perpetuating the drug & crime trade....

AmericanAngle I think you are talking from white, middle class America. What about all the unfortunate people who live in ghettos and trailer parks? The high levels of drug related crime in poor areas? Come on get real.

I do find often that American moral fibre equates to having religion rammed down your throat from a young age and living a life that is so sheltered and prissy that I'm afraid it wouldn't be for me or my kids.

We had a Just Say No campaign too and everyone seemed to find it rather irrelevant. I am not condoning drugs and certainly don't want my child to take them but you have to be realistic. Just wrapping them in cotton wool in a squeaky clean town won't necessarily do it - what about when they leave home and venture out into the big wide world? You can't control it then and if they are suddenly unleashed on this world that they didn't know existed at say age 22 with some money for the first time, who knows what the consequences may be.

I disagree withg you American angle and think that youa re being deliberately provocative. It is not sinply the parents fault but heoinkt hat they do have a role to play.

I agree with Cd that keeping kids away from drugs can increase the allure of them and not give them strategies to avoid them if facedwith a choice.

I woudl say its lot about confidence and finding a niche when you are a teenager

Goodness me - did you forget about columbine and all of the othet teen/drug perpetrated crimes in the US??

if under my roof my kids take drugs, i am fortunate to have a husband large enough to beat them up and down the street. yes children your socialist mother is truly a dictator - do as i say or i will break your fingers ( or i know a man who can).

hi all been of net for a while due to dh cutting through phone line. just to update you, ds2 still using, violence has calmed down now, I think thats more to do with he has now decided to clean cars and do odd jobs for people to pay for his addiction. I did print off loads of info from the Frank website, and put that in his room to read. Of course Im mother and come from a different planet so the info was discarded. but keeping my sanity just, the best way I think is to keep calm.......