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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

wonderful teens

22 replies

twokids · 09/04/2006 16:58

A lot said about bad teens but what about the good ones.
My ds is a normal gobby teen but watch him with his sister who has cp and your heart would melt

OP posts:

Carmenere · 09/04/2006 17:07

Yes they can be fab! I overheard my dss (17)talking to one of his mates on the phone, he said he was bringing his little sister into town - and then I heard him say 'no I don't have to, I wan't to' made me go aww particularly as it was true, he had just volunteered a few minutes previously

Milliways · 09/04/2006 17:47

My DD asks if she can go out to "help" with friends toddlers & small children. She is now getting quite popular as a babysitter as well.

We have our moments (she is 15) but no major trauma. She works very hard at school & we are very proud of her.

soyabean · 09/04/2006 17:52

Yes, you're right, they get a bad press.
Ds1 is 14; we have just been to Ikea together and assembled a CD rack! He is good company and it is really great to see him becoming a young man with ideas and views of his own. He can be a pain too, obviously, but he is very sensible with money, not at all greedy for 'stuff' and has a lovely bunch of friends. Works hard at music and just about hard enough at school...

ellceeell · 09/04/2006 18:15

Ds (19) played Barbies with dd2 for 2 hours with dd2 (4) so I could go to sleep.
DD1 (16) takes dd2 to the park and hangs out with her mates even though she got harangued (sp) by some old biddy about being a teenage mum.
I love them all.

Spacecadet · 09/04/2006 18:19

my dd1 who is almost 15 regularly helps with dd2 who is 20 months.
ds1 got up at the crack of dawn and took dd2 downstairs so i could have a lie in..bless him.

Spacecadet · 09/04/2006 18:19

oh and both dd and ds take it in turns to make me a cup of tea at night.

Tortington · 09/04/2006 18:58

my kids open doors for me and carry the shopping intot he house, they always carry bags when in town as a matter of course - good manners but its appreciated.

an old lady knocked over a pile of leaflets in church yesterday and dd helped me pick them up

mumeeee · 09/04/2006 21:19

All my teenagers help with the creche in church. They enjoy doing it and the eldest one will offer to help if they are short even if it's not her turn. They all bought me lovely mothrrs day presents anf dd2 made a card on the computer.They also offer to cary bags in town. They all often let me know that they love me and DH. DD2does this every night before she goes to bed even if she has been argumentative during the day.
I love all my girls and am trying more to praise rather then criticise them.

quanglewangle · 10/04/2006 00:15

Teenage boys in particular need a bit of good pr. I nearly flounced out of a reading group meeting because of the negative attitude to the boys in the village. I hadn't read the book so drank the wine and got a bit stroppy tbh I was amazed at one guy in particular who I would never have thought to be so prejudiced.

So here goes,
they are polite, they are considerate, they support each other, they don't seem to fall out, they make me laugh, thgey are never petty.
I like 'em
My own boys claim to dislike each other but always help each other out and lend and borrow from eachother. They don't even get angry if any thing they have lent gets broken.

brimfull · 10/04/2006 00:35

My dd 14 is always getting filthy looks when she's with her 3yr old brother.She finds it really embarassing that people would assume she is the mum.She also gets crap treatment on the bus,people are so rude to teens when they are being perfectly polite and trying to learn the ropes of public transport or eating out on their own.It really bugs me.I've been behind her getting on the bus and the way she's spoken to is shocking.She says it happens all the time.She is a polite girl and would certainly never be rude to an adult.She and her friends have also been refused a table at a izza restaurant because there was a family behind them waiting and they were told they were too young anyway(they were 13 at the time)They were too shy to speak up for themselves.

Sorry,pet hate of mine,people not giving teens a chance!Rant over.

quanglewangle · 10/04/2006 17:34

I really sympathuse ggirl. I could rant forever on this subject. ds2 and friends from the age of 12 (now 16) have been viewed with suspicion by police and residents. Do we live in an inner city? No, a largish rural vilage, no muggings or street violence. No excuse for not getting to know the boys (and girls for that matter). It really bothers me that law-abiding kids now have a jaundiced view of the police when the police should be keeping them on side. Short sighted.

brimfull · 10/04/2006 17:40

Yes and oaps are sometimes the worse.Don't like to tar oaps all with the same brush(pot kettle black!)

We also live in rural market town,so groups of teens innocently walking around town,having fun are viewed by some as a nuisance.

quanglewangle · 10/04/2006 17:51

Actually, many of the (very) old people are fine - sympathetic and some have even gone out of their way to say how hard young people in the village are treated. The worst tend to be the middle aged middle class people.

GreenDolphin · 11/04/2006 15:15

The nicest thing our teenage daughter said to us was "I can talk to you about anything". Still gives us a warm glow and we hang on to it during the less good times!!

desperateSCOUSEstrife · 11/04/2006 15:18

yes they do get a raw deal
imo most teenagers are great
depends on how you treat them tbh

stoppinattwo · 12/04/2006 09:21

They should be treated in no other way than you would like to be treated yourself. They have to earn respect BUT in the same way you have to earn theirs. They love responsibility, they love trust. We've all been there, half way between an adult and a child with the ability to flit from one phase to the other without a moments warning . Sometimes they get so confused and so angry and sometimes they know exactly which buttons to press .
Sometimes you may not like them very much however
They alway need to know that you love them and care about them no matter what. My DSS's have tested the boundaries of our sanity etc beyond belief this last year but i would not have them any other way. I believe that we have a lot to do with moulding them into the people they are and so when they dont always do what is expected a little self analysis may be required.

tarantula · 12/04/2006 09:38

oooo what a timely thread. Was home all yeasterday afternoon and spent most of it in the kitchen baking with dss and dd (till she went down for her nap) and dss was amazing. He really worked hard and did loads of things under his own steam without being told (including the WASHING UP!!!). was gobsmaked by how sensible and mature he can be sometimes and am SO proud of him.

NotAnOtter · 12/04/2006 09:41

I know - my ds1 13.5 is an absolute LOVE at the moment - long may it last!

Tortington · 12/04/2006 11:25

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MadameDeMars · 12/04/2006 11:43

DS1 is a fabulous teen. He's brilliant with his 4 younger siblings. He knows what he believes and why. His friends think that he is wonderful.

Gorgeous boy who clearly takes after his mother

yeahinaminute · 12/04/2006 12:15

DSS (almost 18) regularly tells DH and I to go for an early hour in the pub while he and his adorable g/friend plays with DD (3) gets her tea, puts her in her Pj's and lays the table for dinner - just in time for a slightly "drinky" dad and step-mum to come home and smother him an love, dinner and bung him a tenner to take g/friend out !!
He also cooked dinner recently - so, the kitchen was like something after a St Trininas cookery lesson and it was slightly inedible - but he did try !!
Also our DD is "community" baby in our village, all our friends have young teen - agers each and every one of whom are just wonderful with her, playing, letting her mess up their make - up, playing their piano's, CD's, dancing etc - Love each and everyone of them.

suedonim · 12/04/2006 20:42

Aw, nice thread! I like teenagers, even my own, and don't know why people get in such a tizzy about the teens. They do get a bad press, talk about giving a dog a bad name.

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