Because it bloody well feels like it (and when I say round here, I mean locally, not MN!)
We had a bit of a drama during the school holidays, which involved parties and lying.
What happened was that dd's friend's mum and step dad went away on holiday, leaving the friend to stay with a relative.
The friend decided to have a party, to which my dd was invited. The mum and stepdad found out about it on their return. The party was usual teenage stuff, fortunately it hadn't got out of hand or anything, but the parents were understandably very upset that it had happened.
The first we knew that there had been a party was when I received a phonecall from the stepdad. As far as we had been aware, it had been a school holiday sleepover at the friends house, but we were obviously not aware of the parents being away. To compound matters, it would seem that my dd (bloody fool) had been the one to go to the shop to get the booze.
As a result of the phone call, I very calmly took dd to the friend's house and she apologised to the parents.
Dd received quite a lecture from the step dad, which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but hey, she was in the wrong.
We left their house with the parents assuring me that their dd was to be punished etc, and they were eating in touch with as many other parents as they could.
Dd had phone/ laptop etc removed, and has been grounded . Dh, who's quite a mild mannered guy can barely look at her.
Dd returned to school after the holidays, and it turns out we appear to be the only parents who were contacted, and the friend who hosted the party hasn't had any form of punishment/removal of privileges.
To say I'm livid is an understatement!
Please don't think that I think we've punished dd unfairly-she did wrong and seems to have to learn the hard way about losing our trust.
I won't, but I really feel like having strong words with the stepdad about how he spoke to dd, and the barely disguised contempt he treated me with.
I really want to stamp my feet and shout that had his bloody stepdaughter not gone behind THEIR back and provided the venue, there would have been no party and we wouldn't be in this situation.
I really don't know which way to go with this. We still feel we can't trust dd, her pals appear to be sticking their collective fingers up at their parents, who seem to want to be their kids friends rather than parents, but equally I don't want to alienate dd from what is, in the main, a group of kids who really aren't bad, just daft.
How on earth am I supposed to move forward with this??
Well done if you got to the end of this!