Dear oh dear what happens to girls in yr 9 (14)?? Horrible and spiteful one minute and nice the next...aaargh!

[BeatTheClock]

Dd is nearly 14. Gawd help us what an 'orrible lot some of her 'friends' are sometimes. Lovely one day and the most scheming little divas you could meet the next . It seems like a bear pit at school atm where no-one in genuine anymore.

Some of these girls she's known most of her life and dd is struggling (but holding her own it has to be said, with some wobbles) in all this. Every day a new tale of hormone fuelled woe.

The constantly shifting hierarchy and jostling for poll position in any given group is mind blowing. Dd, quiet and thoughtful by nature is finding it all so.

Does this madness pass??

Yes, Wynken! DD's school start the GCSE syllabuses in Y9 in an attempt to keep them focused - DD is very enthusiastic ATM, but I can see it waning after half-term!

Oh I have a teenage girl too.

Thankfully at 14 and just gone into year 10 she seems a lot more focused on school and exams rather than Facebook and blackberry messenger.

She still uses half a bottle of conditioner every time she washes her hair, spends hours with her GHD straightners and steals all my perfume though.

I knew deep down it was too much to hope that the calm was because they had grown up a bit. A friend said yesterday her DD is having problems in year 11, that was really depressing.

Just hope DS is easier with it all, wish I had a smaller age gap so it could be over and done with quicker!

A year 10 girl will smile at you in the corridor if you teach her. A year 9 will scowl. There's the difference!

Omg the scowling They do it to each other, teachers everyone. Dd smiled at one 'friend' the other day who glared back at her. Why?? She never knows where she stands with any of them.

I don't think it's just dd - although she thinks it its just her - I think they're horrible to each other too. It's just a popularity contest and they'll stomp all over each other to get to the top of the pile.

We've managed to avoid facebook so far (a miracle I know) but now I'm wondering if by not being on it she's 'out of the loop' as it were. Oh god But if they're anything on FB the way they are in RL I can only assume it's a fantastic arena for more scowling and stomping.

It's all duck faces and pouting on FB for Year 9 girls from what I can gather, and constantly changing status from 'In a relationship' to 'Single' and back.

What makes me laugh though is that they're all huggy/kissy bessy mates at any opportunity when they meet then within 2 minutes someone's been upset or offended. Blimey charlie.

And great long complicated invloved stories that a crack legal team would struggle to make sense of when I ask what's happened.

One said this, then they said that, then the other one cried and everyone thinks such and such but only on a Tuesday when the there's an r in the month ....aaargh!

Year 9 was definitely the most bitchy and cliquey year when I was at school. I think it's because most of them have been in the same classes with the same people for 3 years, then in year 10 & 11 they start different subjects, mingle a bit more and calm down a bit.

DD1 spent Y9 slowly actually making friends, well at least learning people's names. (DD1 doesn't find school friends an easy concept).

Her group seem to be growing up. I think the boys, makeup and general chaos went on around them, but it wasn't compulsory to join in.

Thinking back we did a bit of friendship angst and a huge amount of teacher annoying.

First week back we were warned to work in subjects we weren't taking in Y10. We spent the next 9 months ensuring HE, RE, and French had a truly miserable time.

For dd it seemed as though in years 7 and 8 it was 'the more friends the better' and everyone got along - then in year 9 it became 'I can't be top unless someone else is bottom' and there was much more jockeying for status. In years 7 and 8, being popular meant being well-liked and having lots of friends: in year 9 you had to be Popular with a capital, and be with the Popular People, who could chuck you out any moment.

I've also avoided Facebook. I'm hearing from other parents though, that they're banning their children from using it now after being on it for a couple of years.

Hand jobs bigTillyMint, oh my goodness no. It makes you want to cry.

I just hope dd keeps telling me all this stuff. If she was doing these things then she wouldn't be telling me.