Friends or lack of them

[Cheifwashingmum]

My 13 yr old has been friends with the same lad since leaving primary school.
now in his 3rd year at high school, he says he has no friends. I have tried to explain that things change and people move on and he should try to make new friends as friendship is a 2 way thing, but he justs gets upset and says no-one likes him, they think he's stupid ect ect. How can I help him make new friends and move on? is it normal for boys to be so emotional? I have an older boy who is 31 now and he was never like this. I also have a daughter who is severely disabled so son no2 has never really had siblings to spar with. Any ideas would be gratefully received as bless him he's doing my head in.

Are there any school clubs he could join? Drama, instrument, sport?

Also out of school clubs which may interest him and he can meet a completely new set of people which might boost his confidence.

he wont go to anything his friends wont go to. I have encouraged him to go to cadets, clubs, to learn an instrument anything but he refuses to go, as he wont know anyone.

Just seen this, OP. Similarish situation happening with us - am talking to the school. Have you spoken to school? Have they noticed anything/can they suggestion anything/keep an eye on DS? Is there anything he could do outside school - something not necessarily associated with school?

Do you know any other parents at the school? Worth a very subtle word with any you know well? I couldn't do that now that DCs are older - but at 13 - I think parents are still OK to talk and you may find they, too, are worried about their offspring.

I'd start with school - look at other stuff - and keep on supporting your DS - tell him things so often do brighten up.

hmmm this is a tricky situation. You want him to make friends but you don't want him in with the wrong crowd. The idea of getting into some clubs are good. Why not encourage him to talk to more people in his year. Is there any sons of your friends or boys in the neighborhood of similar age he could get to know? Have a word with him and ask him are there any problems; bullying etc. Give him hints on how to make friends or chat with him about the people in his year and who he talks to/ is friendly with.
Its probably just a stage that he will grow out of in the next couple of months!!

My daughter of 13 also has issues with friends at school. She's into different things and doesn't quite fit the mould of other teenage girls in her year.

I keep trying to tell her that her individuality will help her in later life and that its a positive thing that shapes her as a character. She doesnt believe me but I will keep telling her that anyway!

Clubs are great as if your ds has something that he enjoys then its a great boost if he can be involved in a club that he will share a common interest with others with.