Ranty Ranty Rant Rant

[Bumblefeet]

My DD is just horrible.
She has left home, and seems to have taken leave of her senses.
She was always difficult, but now, seems to have a chip on her shoulder the size of Bulgaria.

She has missed my birthday, and managed to blame me, saying that she didn't get a 'fuckin invite', missed my oh's, with an invite, and is currently waging war with my sister, just because my sister has had the nerve to question her behaviour.
Daughter asked my sister what I would like for my birthday, then spectacularly failed to materialise with a gift. I expect nothing less :(.

My sister then asked the perfectly reasonable question of why she would ask for advice regarding a gift, then not do anything.
I've told DD that her behaviour was rude, that I can't support her, and that she should apologise for her rudeness, and she has basically said that she has not done anything wrong...and that her auntie is 'always having a go and making me feel bad'. I suspect that the only real reason she feels bad is because her behaviour has been questioned, and she knows that she has messed up.

I can't quite believe how self centred and nasty she can be.
It's her 21st birthday next week, and she has asked all the family to contribute money for a driving test, yet tells her auntie to 'f**k off and butt out of my business'.

At a loss really, this is the last in a long line of episodes of her behaving like this, then casting blame around anywhere as a reason for her actions.
I believe that we all have a choice in how we behave, and how we react, and it is clear to me that she chooses to behave like this.
My poor sis was in tears last night, due to the way her niece spoke to her.

I never imagined that I would ever be in the position whereby I am actually thinking of disowning my child.

She's 21and behaves like a spoilt child.If I was her aunt she would be getting nothing from me . I can't believe a 21 year old ADULT would behave so thoughtlessly.Have you always made excuses for her behaviour.

I never make excuses for her behaviour. She blames everybody else for them 'winding her up' or 'making her mad' etc, but that doesn't mean that I accept that.
She is very good at playing people off against each other, and will think nothing of texting me to tell me that her aunty has made her upset, poor little love.
If that doesn't work, she will try somebody else.
We have two children, and our son is nothing like this.

I have read enough threads on here to realise that children can be totally different to each other, and that my daughter is not as bad as some, she's not stealing for drugs etc, but her behaviour is dreadful, I don't know why she does it, and I certainly don't condone it, or make any kind of excuse for it.

Does she live with your sister?

It strikes me that you've posted this in 'teenagers' and call her a child at the end

She's an adult now and tbh you can just leave you too it

She'll soon realise that behaving like a bitch will lose her the friendship of her mum & her aunt

No real advice for you bumble just sympathy. Hopefully she will finally grow up - soon - and realise that people don't deserve to be treated that way. I look back at some of my behaviour and cringe and see some of it in my teen now - karma eh?

Just keep plugging away - it is sinking in even if she doesn't show it now.

She wouldn't be getting a f*ing penny if I were her auntie, I can tell you that! Or her mother, for that matter. Miss her birthday and then tell her you 'didn't get a f*ing invite'. See how she likes it.

I'm with sowornout, she can learn that adults who act like that get no support. I'm surprised she is even expecting anything, and OP, I'm surprised you haven't said that she's getting nothing from you or auntie. I actually get the feeling you'll be helping her out with the driving money. Please say it isn't so!