DS and drinking!

[winniemum]

My DS is still at home , going back to University in a week or two. I know he drinks at Uni, but he drinks at home before he goes on a night out (about 3 bottles of beer).
Tonight I'm just fed up with it and have asked him to throw the bottles away now, as I don't want my other DC's staring at them and if he's going to drink go somewhere else, rather than drinking in the living room tin front of the others. It's not sociable drinking in my mind, he does it so that he can go out with a bit more confidence.
I really want to discourage it, he knows I disapprove, but don't know what to do. I feel cross tonight for some reason.

Your house your rules, to an extent, but he is an adult.

Now that it is day time can you sit and have a sober discussion with him, adult to adult, about why you would prefer him to not drink at home?

Are you teetotal, winniemum? Not a criticism, but I just wondered because 3 bottles of beer before you go out doesn't seem an awful lot to me. I don't really drink myself but DH occasionally will have 2 or 3 cans of beer if watching the footy, maybe. I would absolutely understand if DS were sitting in your living room getting plastered every night, but I suspect that he has got into the habit of drinking pre-going out at Uni. I know my DD1 and friends tend to congregate in someone's bedroom (occasionally hers) and drink several vodka and cokes or whatever whilst laughing, chatting, getting ready. Once out they say they generally only have maybe one more alcoholic drink because the prices are so ridiculous in clubs. They stick to plain coke because it's cheaper. As you say, the beer is probably to give him a bit more confidence/make him slightly merry so that he can then make a couple of pints last the night. However, as Winkly says, it's your house and your rules. If this really bothers you you need to speak to him about it.

Don't mind him having 3 bottles particularly, especially with friends. It's the fact that he sits there on his own downing them in 2 minutes a go.
Maybe it shouldn't bother me. It's just unsociable drinking in my mind.

Drinking to build confidence in his own self may well lead to him having real problems with alcohol.

He needs to properly tackle the root causes of his anxiety and confidence issues because he is really storing up problems for himself if he does not. Alcohol could too easily become his crutch, his only way to feel more confident about himself.

Thanks Attila. He does have problems with self confidence just wonder how he can tackle this. No matter how many times I tell him or show him what a great lad he is, he still doesn't believe in himself.
Am wanting to nip the alcohol thing in the bud if I can.