teenager's bad grades

[olliejfrancis]

My 15-year-old son has just started year 11. He brought home his grades from his summer exams, they are appalling.
He is bright and articulate but doesn't seem able to motivated himself. He realised the grades aren't good enough but is a loss to why his work isn't improving. School say he is capable of Bs but we are looking at Gs and Fs.
Any advice on how to motivate him and what to ask the school in terms of help this year. I realise we are cutting things fine.
I remember working on past papers for my O'levels but not sure if that still relevant. Weary of punishing. Any positive ideas before I reach for the wine...

No helpful advice sorry - just to say you're not the only parent and 15 yr old DS in this position

I would suggest going in to talk to his subject teachers and/or head of year. If they are predicting Bs, they too will be being quizzed on why he isn't achieving them. See what his coursework is like (presumably good, hence the predicted Bs). Which would indicate something goes horribly wrong in the exams. Does he finish the questions? Did he think he had done alright in the exams? Maybe try different revising techniques? Use the BBC bitesize to help revise as well as mind-maps etc. But definitely email/phone school and request an appointment. Hope this helps x

What Lady said.

Also, past papers and revision guides are still good tools.

I can sympathise with you ollie. Ds2 has just gone into yr11 and his grades are not brilliant. He even managed to fail 2 modules in his favourite subjects recently! His predicted grades hover about the C mark but has been told constantly he is bright enough to do much better if he applies himself.

I have done all the things suggested by Lady but just cannot get Ds2 to work. Have tried bribery, threats, grounding, removing pc, iPod etc all to no avail.

Oops, just realised I am in danger of hijacking your thread! Wanted to let you know, you are not alone and if you find any success in getting your ds to work, please let me know!

Can you ask for copies of his scripts back? I would go over them with him and try and find out if it is lack of knowledge or as others have said, exam technique. Is he answering the question being asked, is he giving enough detail, is his handwriting legible?

Dont know how many hours he is expected to put in himself at home in each subject
Does he actually do the work that he is expected to do and is set?
What did his reports say in each subject?
Sit him down with it,and go through each subject with him and find out what he is not doing in each subject
My guess is you may find 1 of three things
a.he makes excuses about why things are going wrong in each and every subject,in other words the problem probably lies with him in some way
b.there may be a general looking out of the window,not focusing,mucking about with mates etc going on
c.there is genuinely an individual problem in each subject

This is the first time I've used Mumsnet but was at the end of my tether. Thank you to all who posted, your advice is v reassuring!
My son has just been to see me to talk over things! I'm going to a parents GCSE night tomorrow so will plan things from there.
Will be asking to look over his papers and we have agreed to sort out a homework timetable. Have also agreed to talk over subjects he is struggling in.
Neither of us want to fight over this, so maybe deep breaths from me and some focus from him. I know I have to remember what it is like being a teenager, but it ain't always easy!
Fedupnagging...will let you know if we progress! I don't have any friends with teenaged kids so it can be pretty lonely out there. PS I may be thick but can someone explain what the D stands for when talking about kids..!

D stands for darling, as in 'darling son 2' ( my 2nd son). Have a look at the acronyms which will shed some light.

Sounds like your ds is at least willing to engage so well done and good luck.

I had a son JUST like yours. Quite capable but (frankly) bone idle, not motivated and infuriating as a consequence. His teachers were actually ringing me at home saying 'I KNOW Z is capable but he is going to fail because he does no work'

This was about 3 months before the GCSEs.....

I became his worst nightmare. Stood over him in the kitchen to see he completed any set work and actually had the teachers contact me if he said he had none!
6 weeks before the exams I downloaded all the past papers from the various exam boards (it's free) and he was not allowed out until he had done one (two a day once he was on study leave). He HATED me..

..until results day . His passes weren't amazing..but they were Bs and Cs including the vital maths ,english and science and then he was very relieved and grudgingly admitted it was what he needed..me with a foot up his backside!
Several of his friends were not so lucky and have been retaking English and Maths at college since.

DS was never interested in 6th for or University (both of his sisters are highly academic and aced their A levels but he just wasn't that way inclined) but he is now doing Health and Social Care Btec sponsored through his job working with disabled adults.. he's 19 now..and is happy gaining qualifications this way.

It sounds like your son just needs a bit of a boot up the backside, and time is still on his side:) I think often they really don't expect to have to do any work

Great post Medusa, am really pleased your son did well and then found a BTEC course he was motivated to do.

I have been deliberating at which point I become the 'Mother from Hell' and literally stand over ds2! Thought after Xmas when the mock results are out might be good - any later and it will be too late and any earlier will be a nightmare for the whole family!

Been there too. I have no real advice, because my experience in trying to hassle motivate my son was much less successful than Medusa's: it resulted in or coincided with (I don't know what was chicken and what was egg) my son rebelling big-time: swearing, shouting, running away, being very verbally and occasionally physically violent, taking drugs, etc... :( But if you can stand over him and it works, I guess it's worth a try...

However, I can perhaps offer some reassurance... My son did no work for his GCSEs, but because he is bright, he still did OK. Not well; not what he was capable of; but enough to have his choice of courses at FE college: 5 including English and maths. This is all they actually need to progress, and once they move to the next level, their GCSEs results don't matter any more.

When I say my son did 'no work', I mean none... Well, 40 minutes of revision at home in total (when I went through most of a past maths paper with him, before he climbed out of the window :( ) His attendance dropped to about 65% and he spent about 1 day per week in internal exclusion... (For some disruption, but also because the school's punishment for truanting was to exclude them ) They predicted him 2 Es but he got a B and 4 Cs. So bright kids can pull it off, even without work.

The other bit of reassurance I can offer is that your son still does have time to pull his socks up, if he wants to. In the November before my son's GCSEs, his head of year said he still had lots of time; in February, my sister in law, who is a deputy head in a high school, said he still had time... It's only September... You don't need to panic yet :)

My DS (who has just started year 12) was only predicted a 50% chance of passing 5 GCSEs at the start of Year 7, according to his CAT score results. By the start of Year 10 he was predicted mostly C/D grades, with possibly a couple of Bs. He has Asperger's syndrome and was dreadfully unhappy at school with no friends. He also couldn't cope with the constant noise and disruption (all boys comprehensive school ) that occurred in many of his classes, and was frequently bullied.

I couldn't possibly have afforded a qualified private tutor for DS, so I asked a young friend to help out during year 11 - she is a recent graduate (not a qualified teacher) who was unfortunately stuck in a minimum wage bar-job. She had coincidentally taken the same subjects at GCSE as DS, and had also taken the A levels he wanted to study in 6th form (for which he needed at least a B grade at GCSE).

My friend came round for 2 hours one evening a week and went over the topics he was studying in each subject with DS. Most of the time was spent reinforcing exam techniques - very simple stuff such as look at the marks available for each question and concentrate on the ones worth the most points, answer the questions you are confident about first, etc.

DS got an A* in Eng Lit, As for Eng Lang, History, ICT and Geography, and Bs for everything else. We are absolutely delighted!

In DS's case, all he needed was a chance to go over information he had missed in class and to reinforce his learning in a quiet one-to-one environment with someone young enough for him to identify with, who also had very recent experience of the curriculum and the exams themselves. I am so ancient that I took O levels not GCSEs, so couldn't help much!

Hi. Again, thank you all who have posted, your comments have been very comforting. When DS2 brought home those grades yesterday I thought all was doomed...proper parent panic and close to tears. It is good to hear this may not be the case!
I've off to the GCSE parents evening tonight (I hate them...it's not the teachers but the other smug parents). Will be looking at all your suggestions over the weekend and making a plan...it will at least make me feel in control (for a while!)

Been through this too. Had to get very involved with revision of GSCE (BBC bitseize, me testing him verbally using his text books, past papers). It worked. He wasn't terribly happy, but did get on with it and got a good few Bs, couple of As and Cs.

For AS we had to stand back a bit, as he needed to learn to be more independent. But we still kept a close eye on him, made a timetable well in advance and insisted he show us revision notes, exam questions etc. He had a whole folder full of notes etc. It worked. He got his predicted grades B,C,C unlike many of his mates.

I guess what I'm saying is that some teenagers can be very lazy and unmotivated, but it they are at all willing and you are committed to helping, I think the results can be achieved. Bit tricky if they then go off to uni though - won't be able to have mum's help then!! Good luck. x

You might also find a lot of help from school. In year 11 at My DCs school they put huge resources into year 11 in the form of intervention for anyone who is not on target. This can range from after school or lunchtime booster classes to individual mentoring. In some cases they might drop a subject (usually RE if it's on the timetable) and replace it with extra core subject lessons.
All this means that the child is at least working hard at school even if not at home.

Just came back from GCSE parents information evening. DS1 is badly underachieving.
Anyway, school have offered him a mentor who will also check in with me once a week re homework. Also, like SecretSquirrels predicted, they have suggested dropping RE to free up more time on timetable.
The mentor is also going to work with me with re past papers and revision guides. Does this seem reasonable?

from someone just out the other side of gcse hell....

I say just reach for the wine and get on with your own life

this time last year I started the long task of getting my lazy dd to do better with her grades

she was predicted D's even though her teachers said she could easily get B's and C's if she put the effort in

cue months of rows, pressure, bribes, tears, arguing, acting out,
relationship-ruining stress

did it make any difference whatsoever in the end ?

did it fuck

did it ruin the camaraderie I used to share with my lovely teenage daughter ?

you bet

op,does your son care what his grades will be?
does he know what he wants to do once his GCSEs are finished?

To Anyfucker, not giving a shit and getting on with my own life seems very tempting right now...
My DS hasn't a clue...but if I'm giving up this year of my mid-life crisis to looking at GCSEs, he better get an idea soon!

One of my DDs was quite very relaxed about her GCSEs till she realised that certain jobs that she was interested in needed more qualifications than she realised,and then decided to stop looking out the window and chatting,and instead to get her act together.

A friend used a very successful financial incentive scheme by grade to get a ds from v poor mocks to b good gcses.... Cost him £500 but worth it....

You are reminding of the hell that was last year.. a) son dyslexic, school less than normal expectations b) he hung around with 'bad lads' c) did bugger all until January -c) REALLY wish there was a video of pathetic wreck of a child in April begging me and his sister to read his history book out loud to him so you could show it to yours. He really didn't listen to a word we said, went out clubbing, I think it was timely intervention by sensible yr 12s that pulled him round, and facing applying to different schools for sixth form. That, and the boys across the road not being able to move out for YEARS.