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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teen setting himself up for failure

7 replies

samonly · 06/09/2012 12:56

.. 16 yr old (17 in a week), returned to state grammar after good but not stellar GCSEs (1a*, 7a, 1b, 1c -b&c in unimportant, unloved options). The problem is he seems very very unenthusiastic already, and seems to know he is not prepared to work hard enough to do as well as he could (and is unprepared to lie about it). He is dyslexic, extra time in exams etc and only received any kind of sen support in yr 9, so has not had that many years of being able to read fluently. I think he has done brilliantly compared to coursework/mocks based predicitions of bs/cs but also know that he really didn't kill himself working. I sort of respect the honesty but am also worried about the prospect of supporting a son through a levels who a) doesn't know what to study at uni b) doesn't work very hard. It is causing parental strife between over-achieving dad (bad state comp, cardboard box on the side of the M6 --> vet) and me (classically lazy exam passer, no effort till 3rd yr uni), and I want some help. Would anyone else approach the school with such vague concerns - I'm sure they don't want someone who is AIMING to get less than As at A level in their 6th form? What do people think? He's chosen 'hard' a levels, English Lit, History, Chemistry & Biology.

OP posts:
Numberlock · 06/09/2012 13:00

Give it time, samonly, a couple of low marks for essays/assessments early on might be just the kick up the backside he needs.

It's a big step up from GCSE to A Level, he's just not realised this yet (it's only day 3 anyway at my sons 6th form grammar, when did your son go back?)

Floralnomad · 06/09/2012 13:05

My son is just about to start his second year at uni . He got all a a and b at GSCE and good enough A level results including an A in IT . He is doing IT at uni and would be the first to admit that it is the only subject he has ever done any work for . He is lucky that he is bright enough to get away with it and has a bit of a photographic memory. So if I was you I wouldnt worry particularly as your son is not saying he wants to do medicine or something like that which is soo competitive. Let him get on with it if he's happy he'll probably do very well and besides what else would he do if he left now?

ofmenandmice · 06/09/2012 15:05

Sounds as though he isn't keen on his subject choices and they are a mixed bunch?
If he really isn't that academic or interested in studying is he going down the right route do you think?

chocoluvva · 06/09/2012 15:30

Sorry, this is no help - but my DD is exactly the same in her attitude and got similiar results to your DS. It' so frustrating.
Can your DS get audio learning materials?
Does he have a software package (sorry, I don't know what it's called) for his computer?
Why did he choose English Lit, if you don't mind me asking?

samonly · 07/09/2012 09:48

Thanks for the advice, I think the frustration is that he is quite bright (demonstrably, there have been enough ed. psychs around since yr 9) and has got plenty of interest in stuff, so is not classically 'non-academic' - although I do think grammars are a bit blinkered and the advice they give to the bright but more practically minded is woeful - don't offer IT, don't consider it etc . Actually, he came home from school quite happy yesterday and back to chatty self, as he just realised that his controlled assessments were mostly what brought his grades down from a*s & the history teacher gave him a pep talk (he got full marks for the germany 1918-1945 paper which is the only thing I've ever seen him work to maximum capacity on ever).

ofmiceandmen - they are a mixed bunch but don't preclude anything except the biotech / hard engineering type courses that require maths at a level.

choccoluva, he chose English Literature because his teacher urged him to, and he does love narrative, likes pontificating, long words etc, just can't read fast.. also the escapism thing, and he likes "the way novelists can manipulate your feelings and it's a legitimate thing to do" - yesterday's answer

& I think I am going to try a dictation software package because that way there is stuff on the page before you have to re-write and it will help with structure. I've found you can get lots of history podcasts. Thanks for supportive comments

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 07/09/2012 12:21

My son was at a Grammar and I am staggered that any type of school would not be offering IT in this day and age!

samonly · 09/09/2012 17:47

Thanks all, first week has gone better than I expected, & I agree about IT.

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