gone for hours

[happygolucky0]

Hi ya just wondering if you could give me some idea
how long your child is out for. At the present Ds wants to be
out from 9.30 am to time he has to be home at night 9.30pm.
Have tried getting to invite friends over but doesnt seem to want to unless I do the arrangments. He is 14 almost 15. Should I just leave him to it? I am trying to get him to come home for a meal at 6ish then he can go out again. It always seems to be something or other that he wants to push against. Normal i know but trying!! Not sure if this one of the those when I should pick more carefully my battles. Quite often he is at the girlfrinds house. Which is fine he is safe ish. He has to get to and from on the bus.
I try to be a fair person whenever possible and in my eyes it doesn't seem fair to the girls parents. Hopefully now the hoildays are nearly over it will ease up a bit.

If he has a girlfriend as well as all the other teenagery things to be doing I personally would be ok with it - I might ask that if I text to check on him he makes every effort to reply.

I only have toddlers so can only draw on my teenage years and I know if mum had of made me stay in I would of thrown a wobbler and screamed rubbish like I hate this house and I'm a prisoner!!!! I was. VERY dramatic though

Thanks for the reply planetpotty.

I have teenagers ,dd the same age as your Ds and a Ds 17 next month.
I wouldn't worry, as long as you know where he is and coming home on time.
They both ask if its ok to go somewhere , to make sure we have no other plans.
As long as they tell me if the want feeding and a lift.
Also make sure there is time for homework. Both my dcs have had homework over the holidays.

thanks bruffin

Most people on here complain that they can't shift their DS out of bed or away from a screen.
Teenagers have no idea of happy medium .

I wouldn't worry as long as he is where he says he is, and that the girlfriend's parents are at home.

I have a 15 year old ds who never leaves his bedroom, a 13 year old ds who is out all day and a 10 year old ds who is in and out all day!!

Not sure which one annoys me the most

Think its pretty normal tbh...although my kids have to be home before it gets dark and i do make them come in for dinner

I remember at that age telling my mum (who wanted me home occasionally) that she had no idea what it was like to be in love - sometimes you just want to spend every waking hour with that person

Its threads like these that remind me how laid back frankly terrifies me my own mum was. I would disappear all day, end up staying at friends, only return for clean clothes/money and this was from age 13!!!! I look at my own DCs and just think "no effing way" It terrifies me most that anything could've happened to me (living in inner London) and DM wouldn't have been any the wiser.
I honestly wouldn't listen to my advice - lock him up, though I'll be carefully watching other more balanced and reasonable replies with interest

VeremyJyle my parents were like that too. I only realised when I had a teenager of my own that I made some bad choices because they let me. I resent it now.
I have veered towards the over protective many times because of that. It is one of the advantages of living in a small village with no buses that they can't just go out without a lift.

I don't think it's too much to ask for him to come home for his tea/dinner. ds is nearly 14 and he comes in for lunch and tea.

While they still live at home I think they should fit in with family meal times and not just treat the place 'like a hotel'.

Also you can chat to them a bit if they let you.

DD has reacted against my vaguely bohemian attitude to teenagehood by getting excellent exam results. She will very soon be off to university, where I fully expect that her latent bohemianism will come very much to the fore. Looking foward to it with great interest.